This is usually my favourite thing to do, but one woman RUINED IT.

“Cabin crew seats for take-off, please,” said the tinny voice overhead.

I looked around, wide-eyed. I made my hand into a fist, then pumped it down.

“Yesssssssss,” I hissed, half-under my breath. This was a SCORE.

I leaned over to the other seats in my row – both empty – and grabbed their plastic-wrapped blankets. I tore them open, then lay them on top of the one that was already on my knees.

I was on my way from Thailand to London, and things were going BRILLIANTLY.

I’d been out there to visit my brother. That’s so far, people would say when I told them I was going. That’s such a long flight!

I know. I was delighted.

I love a long-haul flight at the best of times. A multitude of things to do (Watch movies! Read! Write! Nap! Snack!) without any of life’s normal distractions.

But on this one – there were only 4 other people in the ENTIRE back section of the plane. I had three seats to myself! And no one nearby to annoy me!

I decided I’d start with a movie after I come back from the washroom. I left my blanket pile and made my way to the back of the plane.

When I emerged, just as I started to walk back, I noticed something and stopped dead in the aisle.

What?

WHAT????

A lady who I didn’t recognise – clearly someone originally seated further up – had settled, with all her stuff, in the seat directly in front of mine. Directly.

I was shocked. And then outraged.

THERE. IS AN ENTIRE. BACK. HALF. OF A SODDING. PLANE. I thought, fuming. AND YOU. HAVE SAT. DIRECTLY. IN FRONT. OF ME??

I’m a very positive person. I have the word “yes” tattooed on my finger. My business name is just that word twice plus my first name.

But, when it comes to seating arrangements as I’m travelling, I’m at my least generous.

I went and sat back down. Surely, once she saw that the STUFF on my SEAT was also accompanied by a person, she’d move.  As I made my way into my row, she turned her head. Her eyes flicked to mine, then back forward.

She was staying still!!!!

I sat, wrestling with myself.

I hate people being upset with me – even people I don’t like. I kind of hate talking to strangers.

But there were fifteen hours ahead of us, and this was madness. MADNESS.

After a few more minutes, I took a deep breath, and poked my hand between the seats to tap her on the shoulder.

“Oh!” she’d jerked forward as my fingers found her.

“Hi!” I beamed, and tried to arrange my face to its most charming. “Would you mind–“
My voice was high and squeaky. For god’s sake.
“–would you mind moving to a different seat?”

Wide eyes flitting around, she looked totally flustered. Oh no. She was upset. I started panicking, and continued,

“It’s just – if you want to put your seat back, then I don’t have to worry about kneeing you in the back.”

She began to gather her things, while saying in a shrill voice, “But I don’t tend to put my seat back!”

Intellectually, I knew this was bunk. It was a 15 hour flight. But my logical brain had been taken over by the part of my brain that reeeally can’t handle people being upset with me. I tried being cheery again.

“You know,” I chirruped, slightly hysterically, “This way, I don’t have to worry about disturbing you!”

As she stood up, she said, “Well I wasn’t worried about that!”

She moved, along with all of her things, to another seat three rows ahead.

I was relieved.

And then, when I stop being relieved…

…I was LIVID.

HOW. DARE. SHE.

I thought.

FORTY-ODD EMPTY SEATS AND SHE THINKS IT’S OK TO SIT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME? AND THEN THINKS I’M THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM??

Enjoyed this? Pass it on!

Facebook

Linkedin

Whatsapp

Email