Writing a ‘cold’ email always feels hard. Even the word in that context is onomatopoeic – “COLD“. Like something you spat out. It just sounds so…mean.
As I’ve discussed, big shots in your industry can get 1000’s of emails a day. So how on earth is yours going to stand out?
One solution is to warm that person up first. And the easiest and most fun method?
(No, not breaking into their office then forcing a snuggle)
Commenting on their blogs.
But if you think you can just post a smiley and be done with it, I have some advice that will serve you far better than any emoticon. And also – a confession. All in the new networking video:
The best kind of compliment you can give on a blog,
is ‘You Transformed Me And Here Are The Results’
Over To You
So, what’s the best comment you’ve ever received on your blog? Go ahead! Share the glory! Or if you don’t have one – have you ever left someone a comment that’s had a rave response?
Let me know in the comments below.
Thanks so much for watching! If you can think of anyone that would find this advice useful – maybe even your followers – it would be wicked if you shared this blog using one of the round buttons below (or floating around to the left).
You rule,
xx (Yes Yes) Marsha
PS want to know my best-ever client secret – and get even more advice, tips, plus stories that I won’t put on the internet? Come and join the Yes Yes Family – it’s free! Just pop your details in below:
Credits:
Intro/outro music: ‘George Square’, by the amazing David Berkeley: http://www.davidberkeley.com.
Sound effects:Harp sample by Setuniman; Birdsong sample by reinsamba – both via freesound.org
Comment shown: left by Lara Wellman of http://www.wellmanwilson.com.
They make people comfortable with social media and other web tools, and teach them how to optimize their use. They’re jolly good at it, too.
42 Comments
Lisa Buckley Hardin
February 14, 2014Really enjoyed reading this post, Marsha. And, yes, you have transformed me! Haha I’ve always been a “lurker” — reading and enjoying blogs but never commenting. I read one of your comments on someone else’s blog and I thought, “Wow, now here’s a lady who thinks a whole lot like I do, I wonder what her blog is like…” Then I clicked over here and haven’t been the same since. *smiley face* As an introvert who is forced to do networking and is pretty much terrified of it all the time, I truly appreciate all the tips you give!
Marsha Shandur
February 14, 2014Lisa! What lovely things you say, thank you!
I hope you find a ton of stuff here around being terrified of networking and feeling introverted. Probably the one I’d point you towards first would be this: a blog that shows you how to avoid almost all of the work in a conversation – and have that person leave, thinking that you’re wonderful!
http://www.yesyesmarsha.com/questions/
Thanks for all the nice words! I’m so happy you came out of lurksville.
Allyson
February 14, 2014Ooooo! Agreed! People CRAVE connection and leaving comments in the same vein as the ones you suggest, is a brilliant idea. It makes you feel great for paying it forward as well! Incidentally you transformed me from having a desk clear of flora and fauna to considering fresh flowers. Ha!
Marsha Shandur
February 14, 2014Dude, that’s so great! I should email that other lady and tell her she’s made BOTH of our lives better! x
Jennifer Kennedy
February 14, 2014You are spot on!!! I’ve used blog comments (and emails) to build relationships with people. I’ve received a few comments that said they enjoyed my writing — it was simple, clear, and straight to the point. (I at least hope it was a compliment instead of them telling me I write like a first grader!)
Recently, I did send an email to a blogger about how her post changed the way I thought about being grateful. I explained what I did differently AND the results! I wasn’t expecting anything in return, but she replied and said she had been meaning to email me and wanted to interview me for her blog! This was all because I was good at leaving comments and really connecting with her! I couldn’t be happier because her blog is awesome and I’ve enjoyed getting to know her!
Thanks for the tips!
Marsha Shandur
February 14, 2014Waaah! i LOVED this comment so much!!
Jennifer, it’s SO AWESOME that you’ve seen how this stuff works first hand. I particularly loved how blog commenting led to that awesome lady wanting to interview you – brilliant!
Also, being told you write clearly is, in my opinion, one of the BIGGEST compliments you can have. Especially when, like you, you’re teaching people how to teach. Nice work!
Kara Stout
February 14, 2014I’ve been waiting for you to share a new video!! And, of course, I enjoyed every minute of it. I seriously love you, your personality & energy. You make networking not so scary with little easy to do steps, and I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate them:) please keep the videos coming…they always brighten up my day!!
Marsha Shandur
February 14, 2014Kara! You say such nice things! Thank you!
Also, can we just talk about your website? IT’S SO PRETTY! I have so much website envy!
Finally: are you in the Yes Yes Marsha Mailer Family? Because today’s email talked about PUGS! If you’re not and want to join, I’ll forward you the email (they don’t go online anywhere, so once it’s sent, that’s it!). http://yym.ca/freeuppp
Kara Stout
February 14, 2014Oh my gosh!!!! Pugatine??!! I am on your list but clicked right when I saw your video! That taught me to stay all the way to the end with just me, you & the usher ;) Ahhhh love that pug pic so much and what a FUN event! Scarlett would’ve loved it…you thinking of getting a pug?! They have the best personalities. I took the cutest pic today of my pug and my moms pug in their valentine dresses giving each other a kiss! ill email it to you just for a laugh!
Aw thank you so much for the kind website compliment!!! Now if I can just get my program finished!!
Marsha Shandur
February 18, 2014LOVE THE PUGS!!!
Lizzie
February 14, 2014Yes. Yes! Oh GAWD, YESSSSS, Marsha!!!! U so totally rock! I made your acquaintance on Shana’s U+A+I (since there was no two-way mirror, you won’t remember our introduction), and was irresistibly beckoned to your website. You offer such useful advice/information delivered in a wonderfully entertaining wrapper. Thank you!
The best comments I’ve received on my blogs have been, “You made me feel like I was there” or “This post made me cry” = for me the best comments indicate that I created an experience for that person and made them FEEL deeply.
Marsha Shandur
February 14, 2014Lizzie!! Thanks for making me laugh out loud (that pesky non-two-way mirror has definitely been there for me in the past too)
i LOVE what you said about the comments that created an experience for someone! YES! The best is an emotional effect, that’s a TRUE transformation. Well done!
Shana
February 14, 2014Marsha, you are simply brilliant. “You transformed” has been buzzing around in my head now since your post about adding value & for me it comes back to embracing gratitude. Saying thank you, you changed my life feels so good to say or to hear. Gratitude segues to happiness. So I’m going to be more open with my blog gratitude & spread a little happiness. Thanks again for your wit & wisdom!!
Marsha Shandur
February 17, 2014Yes! I think gratitude is something we’re not taught to express much, but people LOVE hearing it!
Thanks for the lovely words!
Olivia Rafferty
February 15, 2014Oh Marsha! Surely it can’t be pure coincidence that I bumped into you just as I moved to the city and had to really get to grips with networking! I always watch your videos and feel a little bit of your confidence rub off on me each time!
Marsha Shandur
February 17, 2014Olivia! There are some who would say NOTHING is coincidence….
Thanks for saying such a nice thing!
Olga
February 16, 2014Marsha! You transformed me! Until now, I literally (the real, Teddy Westside-approved variety) never watched videos on blogs, but I gave yours a try and now I am hooked. (Loved the hoodie and the bird chirping, btw.) So should I ever make and a video myself in the future, it will all be your fault!
Marsha Shandur
February 17, 2014Olga!! Oh my goodness! I can’t tell you how happy this makes me! PLEASE do videos! If comments like “(the real, Teddy Westside-approved variety)” are anything to go by, your videos would be RAD. Make sure to email me when you do!
Olga
February 17, 2014Haha, will do! Though I am also struggling with the whole “English as a third language” thing. I have got a weird, neither Russian nor German (or so I have been told) accent!
Marsha Shandur
February 18, 2014But that’s awesome – it’ll make you EVEN MORE unique :)
Sophie
February 18, 2014This is fab, Marsha! I just realized that a major piece missing from my business was my commenting on other people’s blogs. Its a way of being humble, recognizing other people, taking the focus off of yourself and spreading your love. Love your videos, I’m hooked. And I love your accent! :-)
http://www.sophieboselly.com
Business. Body. Bliss. The Perfect Ménage à Trois!
Marsha Shandur
February 18, 2014Thanks, Sophie, I’m so glad you found it helpful!
We so often forget to tell people when we’ve enjoyed what they wrote, and it can mean the WORLD to the person receiving the thanks or the compliment.
asurrenderedyear
February 18, 2014Here are three stories on this topic.
1) on my YouTube channel there is this one gent (all directions point male anyway) who frequently comments with ‘I love this woman.’ He is someone completely unrelated to me and even though he doesn’t usually say much more than that I appreciate it every time and try to respond in kind.
2) I left a comment on the blog of a famous blogger, James Altucher, saying I liked his idea, why I liked it, how I was going to adapt it to fit my life and a timeline for doing it. Not expecting a reply it was quite surprising when he did saying he liked my adaptation and was going to try it himself.
3) On my personal blog I received an unsolicited comment from a bigger blogger than moi. That was really nice and unexpected. This guy has a following in the 100,000s and follows about half that. It was nice that something about my blog had jumped out at him from the Reader that particular day (as well as having the right timing).
Marsha Shandur
February 18, 2014Dude, THANK YOU for all this concrete evidence that this stuff works! It feels bloody great, doesn’t it – and feels great for *us when the comment we leave gets responded to.
kathleenprobst
February 27, 2014After attending the UAI gig, I find myself a little overwhelmed with the attention and emails that I have been getting after signing up on lists for those who inspired me. I must say that you and your style stand out. Your topics are brilliant. Now, go thank your parents for birthing you across the pond and giving you your fantastic accent. I could listen to you all day and you make me laugh.
I used your conversation starter, “How was your week?”, the day after I watched your video, at the opening reception of my first solo show. I’m a textile artist. It works like a charm. Lots of good little chats resulted.
One thing I will share is that I had a friend there with me at my reception and afterwards we agreeed that we should have had a “come save me” signal for when someone has you trapped in a conversation for too long. Perhaps you have a few great exit lines too? I know you are usually aiming at helping us get into conversations, but sometimes we need to get out of one.
Marsha Shandur
February 27, 2014Kathleen!! Everything about this comment thrills me!
I’m SO HAPPY that you used the magic question and it worked for you! I really think it’s a winner and it’s always nice to hear success stories from it.
As far as extricating yourself – oh, I have a WHOLE section on this with my clients and in my workshops! I should make a video, really, but here is one idea for you: whilst you can totally use a fake excuse (“I must go to the washroom!” “I must get a drink!” etc), I am a big fan of, at the point that *you feel the conversation is over:
simply smiling broadly, saying, “It was lovely to meet you!”, shaking their hand, and confidently moving away.
One of the things I’ve discovered through years of learning to fake my own self confidence, is that people will follow the lead of how you behave. So if you behave as if it’s the most normal thing in the world, you did enjoy the conversation but the conversation is now over – people will just accept that that’s how it is. So as long as you smile broadly, they won’t have to feel crushed that you’re moving on. They’ll just be left with the feeling of, “Oh, I suppose that conversation is finished! There you are then”.
As you move around in the world this week, see if you notice any of these type of people, and how they behave – people who are what my improv comedy friend calls Happy High Status. Famous examples are Obama, Clooney, Katy Perry. People who are fully confident in themselves, but use that to lift up other people – whilst keeping their boundaries firmly set.
And if you want some stories about how I learned to fake my own self-confidence (until I became ACTUALLY confident, without even realising it, here are some:
http://www.yesyesmarsha.com/weird-belief/
http://www.yesyesmarsha.com/most-people/
http://www.yesyesmarsha.com/confidence/
:)
Marsha Shandur
June 18, 2014In case anyone’s coming across this comment now, I *DID make a video! You can see it here:
http://www.yesyesmarsha.com/awkward.
I don’t mean to name-drop, but GEORGE CLOONEY is in this video…
Dayna
March 12, 2014Marsha, this is really fantastic information. I’ve been struggling with this for a while and you spelled it all out so succinctly. THANKS!
Marsha Shandur
March 12, 2014Aw, thanks Dayna – so happy it’s helpful!
Michelle
April 2, 2014A friend just referred you to me and I am so thankful to have found you. I’ve heard this before but I loved the video and you made it so clear it was just what I was needing to start reach out to someone I want to get to know. Thank you! I can’t wait to get to the rest of your site.
Marsha Shandur
April 2, 2014Michelle! What a lovely thing to read! Thanks so much, and I’m so glad you found it helpful!
Amber
April 18, 2014Thank you for your great advice. I’m new to online networking, etc and everything you said made sense and it was so simple. Other “coaching” sites/vids just make everything sound so complicated. I don’t feel so stupid now because of my ignorance to this tech-y networking. Thanks again.
Marsha Shandur
April 18, 2014Amber! I’m so glad you feel that way. It’s TRUE that it doesn’t have to be complicated. Just leaving someone a nice message is as easy as giving a friend a compliment (or probably easier!)
tovagold
May 21, 2014Whoa- I never comment on blog posts…. and people don’t often comment on mine- even when I get tons of likes and shares…hmmmm… food for thought.
Meanwhile this is the SECOND blog post of yours I’m commenting on because it might be some of the most informative, enjoyable and unique content I’ve seen in a long while.
:)
Marsha Shandur
May 21, 2014Wow, Tova! What an honour!
And THANK YOU for the lovely words!
emily
November 13, 2014Marsha, I am finally commenting! This video sealed the deal for me that it is time!
You have been one of my favourite bloggers since I found you in April (shortly after joining Bschool) I checked out lots of different folks’ sites, and what kept me subscribed to yours was your delightful authenticity!!! I really love your positivity, your humour, your storytelling skills, networking tips, your taste (-your recommendations: Tryingtobegood &; Dominique Christina &; others) and you truly inspire me to step into my own life full force, dork goblin and all! I disconnected the internet in June as an attempt to put more vital aspects of my life in the forefront of my time. Since then, I’ve made trips to the library and other hot spots to go online every few days. Receiving updates from you has been a highlight of my online time. I just want you to know that your work has brightened my life enormously, and I’ve really needed it.
So finally, I just want to say THANK YOU! Thank you for being you! You are a leading example of what we all want from each other- authenticity and sincerity! (as well as a smiles) I hold you in high esteem as an example of how I want to express my insights and thoughts… when I finally get my own website off the ground.
PS I especially LOVED the post I read today in my inbox about what anybody wants in life. I am teary-eyed inspired and ever so grateful.
A big dorky affectionate hug,
Emily
Marsha Shandur
November 14, 2014EMILY!!!!
This comment made me SO HAPPY in about 4000 different ways.
THANK YOU!! You not only made the sun come out and the birds sing, you made the moon, stars and streetlights light up, and a chorus of angels sing!
Also: Dominique Christina and TryingToBeGood.com – RIGHT???! So glad you like them both.
Thank you SO much for making the time and effort to break the silence :)
Even bigger, even dorkier, even more affectionate hug right back!!
xxxxxyyM
Lewis Atkinson
September 9, 2016Hi Marsha
What a great video blog of how to warm a cold contact before you email them. i was scouring the internet to look for tips about how to do this and your video was by far the most useful and successful.
So we took 200 emails as a cross sample of data we want to market too and I began looking for blogs by these decision makers. Not many but I did find 38 that were either by the decision maker themsleves or their companies. So I commented!! I took a cross section of your suggestions – “great blog”, “really interested in how you….”!
We then sent out an email campaign a few days later and the results are coming in regards open & click rate!
Remarkable! Out of the 29.4% open rate, 8% clicked and out of the 40 click throughs, 17 are from decision makers I commented on either their blog or company blog!
So, thank you very much, you have transformed the way I vet my cold email marketing list!
Keep up the good work!
Lewis x
Marsha (Yes Yes Marsha)
September 21, 2016Lewis, WOW!!! Thank you so much, both for commenting, and for reporting back your results! I’m SO THRILLED this is working for you!
Thanks again and WAY TO TAKE ACTION!!
xxyyMarsha
Kathy Fannon
October 16, 2016Marsha, thank you for these videos you’ve shared for the Tribe Writers conference attendees. (Attenders?) They are so encouraging!
I like to comment on blogs, especially the smaller ones, because I know how much I love comments on mine. (Just so I at least know people are reading!) This video has helped me know how to leave even better comments!
I’ve subscribed to your YouTube channel and look forward to learning more from you. Have a fabulous week!
Marsha (Yes Yes Marsha)
October 16, 2016Kathy, what lovely words, thank you! And so glad you found it helpful :)
xxyyM
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