How to be charming and the dark side of being charming (Yes Yes Questions #2 review!)

Two weeks ago – in the midst of moving apartment – I ran another of my live advice columns, which we’re calling YES YES QUESTIONS. For the first one, we’d had about 30 people on the call. This time, it was four – which, honest to goodness, I liked just as much, because it felt more like INTIMATE PARTY (that you can now eavesdrop on!) and we kicked it off with a very personal, really interesting question.

Below, I’ve listed the questions asked, and written a short form version of the answer I gave.

First though – I’m doing it again! Monday, April 6th @ 2pm ET. Want to come along?

Here are the questions people asked and short form answers: 

(1) Danielle LaPorte says, ‘Heart open; big effing fence.’ But I think my fences are too big. People tell me I’m impossible to get to know and come across as being aloof, especially in short-term interactions. Any advice? 

(Short Form Of Answer: Question where the aloofness comes from. Is it a defense mechanism, ‘If I hate you first, then it doesn’t matter if you judge me, because I already hate you’? That’s ok, just acknowledge. More on that HERE: yesyesmarsha.com/newpeople and here: yesyesmarsha.com/badmorning

Also, FAKE YOUR OWN SELF-CONFIDENCE in these situations. It will make you confident. It’s served me well for years.

Also, start with one small talk question before you get more interesting.

Also, being charming has a dark side, in the recording, I let you in on what that is.)

(2) If I don’t have a Big Brand Story, do I even need to use storytelling?

(SFOA: YES. And also, while a Big Brand Story might get you press, it might get you podcast interviews – it’s not what gets you clients. What gets you clients, is a small, small story that people can relate to. I give examples in the recording.)

(3) For as long as I can remember, I knew…

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That time when all the networking advice I give got truly tested

I’ve spent quite a lot of the last month nauseous with nerves. What time I haven’t been nauseous, I’ve been feeling deeply moved.

I have a book coming out tomorrow. I know! It’s very exciting. Sort of. What I mean is, it is very exciting – I’ve been working on it for four years, it’s being published by Bloomsbury who also publish Harry Potter, and mostly, it’s MY NAME ON AN ACTUAL BOOK.

But… it’s also involved me having to do something that makes me deeply anxious: putting on…

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