I met my hero. My hair looked like a wig. It did not start well.
“You don’t. Understand.”
I was using that gritted-teeth, quiet but solid tone of voice. The kind you use when you really, really want to scream your words out, but know that you can’t. In this case, I couldn’t because:
(1) I understood that she was just being nice and trying to help, and
(2) on some level, deep below the surface, I knew I was being wildly unreasonable.
It was Saturday night, and I was getting ready to meet my hero…
How my patronising altruism WILDLY benefitted me
Ordinarily, I wouldn’t publicly admit having had this thought process. It shows that I can sometimes be an egotistical dick. But I like the end of it so much that I want to tell you.
I come to you from the train I’m taking from St Catharines (no apostrophe) back to Toronto. Last night I ran a workshop – my third in a year – for Brock University, on Networking That’s Effective and Actually Fun, for their entrepreneurial students in their BioLinc incubator.
One of the things I teach the students was how important it is to add value to people, long before you ask for anything.
An amazing way to add value is to thank people for teachings you’ve enjoyed, being specific where you can. Another is offering to make…
Want a Shortcut to Being Charming? Here’s One.
I have to be honest with you about something:
I am inherently lazy. Nobody believes me, because I’ve always got a million things on the go. But whenever I get the chance to fast-track something, or cut a corner, I am IN. Sorry for tarring you with the same brush, but if you’re like me (and if you’re enjoying reading this blog, there’s a good chance you are like me), then I’m assuming that:
you are inherently lazy too. And if you are: good news.
There are some FANTASTIC ways to…
How Do I Ask a Favour from a Long-Lost Colleague – Without Feeling Like I’m Just Using Them? ASK (YES YES) MARSH!
You have the perfect contact for what you need to do – in theory. Someone you knew a long time ago is someone you need a big favour from. But you haven’t been in touch in months or years, and have no idea how to go about asking them.
If you email them now, will they just think you’re using them? Find out how to do it in a classy way – that will make them ACTIVELY pleased to hear from you – here.
Networking: When It’s OK to Lie
I know the ten commandments suggest not to, but sometimes, thou SHALT lie:
If you’re on a night out, your friend asks whether her hair looks weird – and it does, and there’s nothing she can do about it right now, tell her no. If your brother was right in the middle of an important interview and accidentally let out a massive (and noisy) fart, then he asks you – mortified – if you think the interviewers laughed at him after he left, say, “They probably don’t even remember”.
If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know that I’m usually all about not lying – not being a fake, schmoozy, gross caricature of everything people hate about networking.
But sometimes: you need to. Here are those times:
(1) When extracting yourself from…
ASK (YES YES) MARSH: Networking and Flirting – Where’s The Line?
I bloody love reading advice columns.
When I worked in radio, I used to make all my interns tear out the “Dear Deidre”s from the back of the tabloids, so I could read them on the train home. The only German I know is from translating Teen Mag problem pages when I was a teenager (“Ich schwärme für ihn! Er ist sehr gutaussehend und frech!”*).
heart lady
And, as a coach, it’s in my nature to LOVE giving my suggestions for solving other people’s problems. As one ex- described me, I’m “violently helpful”.
So: I am THRILLED to announce a new sporadic feature:
ASK (YES YES) MARSH
And today: networking – and flirting.
Anonymous Gentleman writes:
I was wondering…
The Simple Two-Minute Trick That’s A GAME-CHANGER for your Business Or Career: Part ONE
Have you ever said, “I hate networking”?
Chances are, you have – if not out loud, then quietly to yourself through gritted teeth, as you walk into a work event.
Here’s the thing: most of what you hate about networking? Isn’t actually networking. It’s schmoozing and bragging – and it very rarely works.
REAL networking happens gently over time, and most over email.
That sounds a little less scary, right?
A fundamental rule of networking that’s effective (and actually fun) is that it’s a long term relationship – not a one night stand.
So while that first in-the-flesh meeting is important when it comes to making industry friends – just like a first date is important when it comes to having a romance – it’s what happens afterwards that makes the BIG difference to your network.
And it’s your network that’ll make the BIG difference to your business or career – and to whether you are scrabbling to find clients or your dream clients are scrabbling to work with you.
The simple two-minute trick that will build your network and make you stand out: …
What I Learned From Trying To Make Friends In A New City
They were perfect. Both of them. Exactly what I was looking for.
I sat, pretending to work on my computer. Listening to what they were saying. Trying not to laugh out loud at their jokes. Stealing glances when I could.
The two girls seemed to have known each other a while. As far as I could gather, one was some sort of designer or artist. The other worked for a non-profit. They were lefties, like me. They both dressed really well.
Picking up my mug to sip, I daydreamed. Imagine if I was brave enough to do what I really wanted to? I’d get up from my rustic chair, stroll across the cafe to their table, and stand above them.
“Excuse me”, I’d smile. “Sorry to interupt. I’ve been over there, listening to bits of your conversation. You both seem great. I love your clothes and you’re both really funny. Would either of you like to hang out sometime? I don’t mind which one. I’m new in town and looking for friends. Do you fancy being one of mine?”.
How to Warm Up a Cold Contact BEFORE You Email Them (VIDEO)
Writing a ‘cold’ email always feels hard. Even the word in that context is onomatopoeic – “COLD”. Like something you spat out. It just sounds so…*mean*.
As I’ve discussed, big shots in your industry can get 1000’s of emails a day. So how on earth is yours going to stand out?
One solution is to warm that person up first. And the easiest and most fun method? (No, not breaking into their office then forcing a snuggle). It’s…
What YOU have to offer big shots in your industry (VIDEO)
Let’s say there’s someone you’re desperate to grab the attention of.
They get 1000s of emails every day. Yours needs to stand out.
You could send them a giant teddy bear, holding a heart, that says,
I BEARY LOVE YOU
Or…. You could ADD VALUE to them, in one of the ways I talk about in this video.
Yes, even you, my currently small-fry-compared-to-them-friend…
