How to: figure out your niche, overcome disappointment, and get clients via your friends without feeling gross (Yes Yes Questions 7 Review!)
While I think investing money in coaching is essential, I am also a product of the Soviet Union.
This means I was brought up by parents (and grandparents, and aunties, and uncles) who love FREE STUFF. Sometimes, that means speed-clearing the toiletries in a hotel bathroom (and, let’s be honest, from an unattended housekeeping cart) like a one person plague of miniature shampoo bottle-loving locusts. And sometimes, that means seeing where you can get a free version of services that other people pay for…
In the spirit of this, once a month, I run a free call called Yes Yes Questions. Part-Free Business coaching, part-Live Advice Column, it’s an hour where you get to ask me ANYTHING YOU LIKE, without the usual price tag that comes with my services. And the next one is next Monday, April 6th! Want to be there? Pop your details in on this blog. And to whet** your appetite — here’s the recording from last time, and here is an overview of most of the questions asked then and the answer I gave! In this episode, I answered these Q’s:
1. How do you know if your niche is niche enough?
2. How did you become an entrepreneur? What led you to that path and how did you go about learning how to be one?
3. How do you fake your niche if you feel like you can help EVERYONE?
4. Howwwwwww do I ask my friends and family to help me spread the word about my business? The idea of doing that sounds AWFUL.
5. Any advice on keeping up positive momentum when you get a setback?
I just found out an hour ago I did not get a significant consulting gig that I really wanted (and had received inside information that I would be hired…). Ugh… I just want to hide under a blanket for the rest of the day.
6. Is there a place where speakers hang out or go to? I really wanna photograph more speakers, as well as BIG speaking events.
7. I want to speak at conferences! How do you stand out when applying to do this?
Want to know what I said? Click below to read more!
How To Edit Your Stories (part 1) – BWSS #2!
You go to tell a story — or maybe, just THINK about telling a story — but… there’s so much there! How do you know what to leave out, and what to keep in?
In this week’s episode of the Baby Walk Story Sessions (less than 10 mins), ALL WILL BE REVEALED!!!!!
Well, technically some will be revealed, because this is the first of a three-parter on editing. But here, I tell you…
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT TELLING CAPTIVATING AND COMPELLING STORIES.
Also, I tell you a story about my bummer life when I first moved to Toronto, and how it improved. Want to hear it?
How to promote yourself without feeling gross; How to stop drowning in your to-do list
If I might briefly be not very British or Canadian, I got to give some REALLY good advice last week. Some of my favourite questions to answer, in my monthly live Advice column, Yes Yes Questions.
Q1: What is the art of writing posts to promote yourself on social media without feeling like a self-obsessed narcissist and annoying everyone you know?
i LOVE this question. Because so many people…
How to build a mailing list; how to approach guys in bars; how to banish your ‘you suck’ voices – Yes Yes Questions 3 review!
It was a nice mix of shy and very brave in our third Yes Yes Questions – my monthly Live Advice Column. People mostly asked their questions on the chat (with me reading them out), but they asked some goooood ones.
Before I present the questions, I’m doing it again, Monday, April 6th @ 2pm ET. Want to get a reminder – plus all the secret links and resources I promised after this call?
Here is a list of most of the questions, with a short form of the answer I gave on the recording.
Let’s mix up the order, and start with the juiciest:
How would a couple of women approach dudes in a bar in a coldish city (like Toronto) without seeming too desperate, too intimidating, or too contrived? She’s admittedly not that open with strangers, but is hoping to change that. I’m good with strangers, but the approach is always so difficult!
Short form of answer: The trick here is to cultivate a situation where it’s less ‘hi, are we allowed to hang with you?’ and more ‘we are having fun and making mischief. You can join us if you like (and you’ll clearly be missing out if you don’t).’
And don’t just make this pretend. If you can get to the point where the two of you are having so much fun that, honestly, if you aren’t joined by whichever dudes have caught you’re eye, you still have a blast, then it’s win-win. Plus we all know that the ‘I don’t need you over here to have fun’ attitude is always very appealing.
Then I gave a PS on dating wisdom from my smart friend Paul…
I had a weird idea & now you get free one-on-one coaching and/or life advice from me
I used to feel bad about this. Like, kind of guilty. Because of my work, my interests, and the kinds of conferences I go to, I’m in a lot of spaces where people ask, “What’s the burning thing you’ve always wanted to do, but never been brave enough to?” And I always used to worry…
Teaching new ideas that people sometimes resist? Try this!
“So guys,” he said, from the front of the large room. “Try this, and you can get to the root of your issue.”
I was on a table right down at the back, so he couldn’t see me rolling my eyes. Jaw set in fury, I looked down at my paper.
It was the Sunday before last, I was at a business retreat, and I was very, very angry.
This year, I’m in a group program, run by Jonathan “Good Life Project” Fields. I’ve been following him for years, and he’s always steered me right. Under his guidance, my business went from doing okaaaaayyy to suddenly making a living doing the thing I’m best at and most enjoy. Working with him again seemed like a good idea.
On this afternoon, 70 other people and I were in a session led by productivity coach, Charlie Gilkey. I’ve hung out with Charlie before – just that morning, he’d been telling me about his recent trip to Hawaii. We get on well and I really like him. I know a lot of people who’ve been coached by him to wild success. He’s a charismatic, clear and powerful speaker.
But, right now, I was cross with him. Furious, actually. Seething.
Or – to be clearer, I wasn’t so much angry with him, as with what he was asking me to do…
Want to build trust, connection, influence and loyalty? Use THIS in stories. (Science!)
“My stomach was in a tight knot as I walked up to the front door.”
If you want people to really care about your stories, and be inspired to take action, there’s one element you MUST include… and yet, I see people leave it out all of the time.
What is this magic bullet?
EMOTION.
Consider the difference between these two stories:
‘I walked up to the front door.
For thirty seconds, nothing happened.
Then, the door opened, and Sally appeared. I took a deep breath, and said, “Hello.”’
Now, read this one:
‘My stomach was in a tight knot as I walked up to the front door.
For thirty seconds, nothing happened.
I started panicking. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, I thought. Maybe I should stay out of it.
Then, the door opened, and Sally appeared, smiling. Nervously, I took a deep breath, and said, “Hello.”’
Which story do you care more about? Which one makes you want to keep reading? Which has the strongest effect on you?
I’m guessing it’s the second one. The difference between the two?
In the second, I told you how I FEEL.
Emotions make your story more powerful for five reasons:
(1) We invest in your story
In the second version above, did you wonder WHY I was so nervous – and what might be about to happen?
Telling us how you feel builds tension in a story. Suddenly, there are high stakes, that might not otherwise exist. Researcher Paul Zak discovered that tension is an essential ingredient to keeping us interested in a story.
(2) We trust you more
Have you ever got nervous…
Want to find your best stories? Do this in restaurants.
I’m breaking a rule by writing to you today.
This week – last Friday until today – I was supposed to be in New York. On the final trip of a spate that has lasted almost three months, I was going to be hanging out with my mum, who had a week-long job there. But then her job got cancelled, and so I decided to do something I’ve never done before:
Take an internet break.
Email and social media. Not because I’m in the woods, not because it’s Christmas, just… to see what happens.
What’s happened is that…
When you meet new people, do you ever just irrationally HATE them?
This is a little embarrassing to admit, but here goes:
A few weeks ago, I locked my bike up outside this juice bar in Portland, a tight ball of nausea in the bottom of my stomach.
I was at WDS – the conference World Domination Summit, where do-gooders (like me) try and make the world a better place – and arriving at my first ‘meet-up’. These are impromptu gatherings thrown by attendees. I had my own one the following day, a short workshop on How To Tell Compelling Stories. But this one at the juice bar was a storytelling meet-up being thrown by someone else – a lady I’d never met before, and was a bit scared of.
Two days before, I’d (finally, very last-minute) decided to put on my own meet-up about storytelling. As I scrolled through those other people had posted, I realised that there was already one happening on the same subject. Gutted at first, I then looked into the details and decided it was ok for both to exist. This one, by a lady called Sara Hunt, was going to be about how to figure out which of your own stories to tell. Mine was more about how to tell your stories. Also, hers was already full, so I figured it was even more ok to put mine on.
But I am a perennial people pleaser, and I was still worried that she’d be annoyed. So I sent her an email.
In it, I explained what I felt the differences were between our two workshops, and told her I’d love to meet her at some point – which was true; from her website and blog, she seemed cool and interesting. Then, I asked whether, if there ended up being a free spot, I could come along to her meet-up.
It took me about 20 minutes of writing and rewriting to compose this last question.
What if she thought I was just coming along to steal her ideas? What if she was annoyed that I was running my own storytelling meet-up and it made her not like me?
My fears were trumped by how much I wanted to go, so I asked. To my relief, I got a reply saying she’d love to have me along.
But now, I was actually here…
WDS: Five Storytelling Lessons from Coaching the Attendee Storytellers at World Domination Summit
I stood up, feeling the fizz of excitement under my skin, and started looking around the empty lobby of the conference hall. It was evening. I knew that most people had left, but I needed to be certain.
Yep, I was definitely alone.
I walked to the space where there were no chairs. Then, silently and frantically, I began leaping up and down, alternately punching my fists in the air, before ending on a little stationary run.
It was Saturday night, and I had just finished coaching the Attendee Storytellers for World Domination Summit.
WDS is a conference where, once a year, several thousand do-gooders descend on Portland, to get inspired and try and figure out how to make the world a better place. Along with TED-style informative and inspiring speakers, every year, they have a number of “Attendee Stories” on the main stage – where people from the audience can apply to get up and have a go themselves.
I told a story a few years ago – you can hear it here – and, since then, I’ve become the Official Storytelling Coach for World Domination Summit. Which sounds like loads of fun – and is – until you know that I have just one afternoon to help all the storytellers get their 20 or 30 minute stories down to one minute.
One.
Tiny.
Minute.
It’s brutal but, every year, I do it – and, every year, the challenge makes me feel high as a kite afterwards. Hence the silent, solo leaping around.
Here are five things I learned from coaching this year’s attendee storytellers at World Domination Summit
