How Not To Be Self-Conscious (VIDEO)


If you are a certain kind of person, going out can sometimes be terrifying.

If you’ve ever hung out with me in person, over the phone or skype, in the audience at a talk or workshop, or even just through watching my videos, it would be easy to assume that I was a pretty confident lady.

But if you’ve read some of my blogs, you’ll know that (a) I wasn’t always – it took quite a lot of faking it until I became it, and (b) I still have moments of almost-crippling insecurity, where going to an event feels really scary.

It’s in these moments that I employ a mantra – one I got from a Bridget Jones-related lady spy, and that I now pass onto my clients. Click play to find out more:

A Behind-The-Scenes Tour of my Brain Going to a Conference


“No one’s thinking about me. Everyone’s thinking about themselves, just like I am right now”


Over To You

Any thoughts on this? Mantras of your own? Fancy trying this out yourself? Let me know in the comments below!

Thanks so much for reading. If you know anyone who would find it helpful (or just really loves Bridget Jones and/or Lady Spies), you can share it with them using one of the round buttons below.

You rule,

xx (Yes Yes) Marsha



PS want to know my best-ever client secret – and get even more advice, tips, plus stories that I won’t put on the internet? Come and join the Yes Yes Family – it’s free! Just pop your details in below:

Music credits: “George Square” by the incredible David Berkeley,


  • sharona

    Reply Reply March 4, 2015

    Great video Marsha! So natural and honest…you rule!!

  • Holly Gillen

    Reply Reply March 4, 2015

    I’ve missed your face. You light me up seriously. You are so funny and smart. Big Squeeze. Can’t wait to see more.

    • Marsha (Yes Yes Marsha)

      Marsha Shandur

      Reply Reply March 4, 2015

      Holly!! It is ALL BECAUSE OF YOU that I made this video!! THANK YOU! xx

      (If anyone else is curious, I was inspired back into making videos after I did Holly G’s From Start To Star 15 day video experience. If you want to make videos but don’t know where to start – or are just curious to see what I’m talking about, check it out, here:

  • Jody

    Reply Reply March 4, 2015

    Great advice Marsha. I will definitely use that mantra next time I am in the situation. Thanks for making me smile. Keep up the great work.

    • Marsha (Yes Yes Marsha)

      Marsha Shandur

      Reply Reply March 4, 2015

      Thanks, Jody! Hope it goes well for you – I find it invaluable. Let me know how you find it! x

  • elena

    Reply Reply March 4, 2015

    Your wigless video is awesome. Enjoyed just you being you. And the mantra. Thanks very much!

  • lissacow

    Reply Reply March 5, 2015

    Love this Marsha! So true. I’m going to use this–right NOW. :)

  • Becky

    Reply Reply March 7, 2015

    Marsha! THANK YOU! I always struggle with going to conferences and what not and this mantra lifted a HUGE weight. You’re so right! I’m going to add an extra step at the end, “What would I LOVE for someone else to do right now? Compliment my skirt? Ask about my work? Pull me into their circle?” And then I’m going to do that. Seriously – THANK YOU!

    • Marsha (Yes Yes Marsha)

      Marsha Shandur

      Reply Reply March 7, 2015

      Becky! I’m so happy this is so helpful for you – and I loveloveLOVE!!! your addendum! I’m totally going to start teaching that, thank you!

  • d

    Reply Reply August 12, 2015

    Great video & I am going to apply that mantra to the next event I go to.

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