“SHE would never do something like this,” I said, grabbing my napkin to mop up the glass of Merlot I knocked all over the restaurant table.
Sam looked at me, raising an eyebrow and turning down the corners of her mouth.
“I don’t buy it,” she shook her head. “She’s just a person.”
“No. She’s DIFFERENT.”
A few months earlier, Sam and I had been introduced at a self-development conference. Up until then, we’d each secretly harboured the idea that you couldn’t have a best friend you’d known less than a decade. But then: we met each other. Immediately, it was like some part of our brain (or soul) fused together. Back home — me in Toronto, her in Sydney — we spoke several times a week, in spite of the brutal time difference. And now, we were hanging out together in person for the second time, on vacation in Costa Rica.
We’d already spent four days oscillating between deep, tearful, heartfelt conversations and laughing so hard we couldn’t speak. We agreed on everything…
…except this.
“I’m telling you, BTB, Emma Lovely’s not like us.” BTB stands for “Best Travel Buddy”, a joint nickname we’ve given each other during the trip. I was using it here to soften the hard stance I’m taking; even when it’s about something silly, I hhhhhate being in conflict.
Sam and I were already both steeped in the world of online personal development, so we knew all the Big Names in the industry, including Emma Lovely — whom the two of us both adored. We’d read all the blogs, we’d binged her podcast, we’d taken her courses. Our disagreement here centered on what Emma Lovely is like in person.
“You’d never be able to truly be yourself around her. She’s too cool! You’d feel like an idiot next to her.”
I knew that Sam understood I didn’t mean this as a diss. I 100% get the impression that Emma’s a really nice person, and I really think she IS being her true self in her videos and her podcast and her writing. It’s just that her true self is someone much cooler than I am.
Sam wasn’t convinced, so she dropped it.
But I couldn’t.
As the week wore on, I kept asking the question:
“Would Emma Lovely do THIS?”
When I’d spill ketchup down my front. Sam: “Yes!”
When I’d trip walking up the stairs in the hotel. Sam: “Of course!”
When we were standing in line to buy ice cream and I accidentally let out a little fart then, after we stopped giggling, shot a narrow-eyed look at Sam. She countered, “Emma ALSO has a digestive system!”
It was our last morning and Sam and I were out for a final swim in the sea. On our way back to the beach we decided to sit, waist-deep, in the shallows while we chatted, trying to squeeze in as much conversation as we could before the end of the trip. Finally, it was time for lunch.
As I stood up, I let out an “Urgh!”
The crotch of my swimsuit was PACKED with sand.
Sam asked, “What’s wrong?” — then stood up and let our her own “Urgh!”
We looked at each other and crack up. “This feels horrible!!”
I tried to see if I could empty out my gusset while squatting above the water, the whole time keeping comically intense eye contact with Sam.
“I don’t think I can do it without flashing everyone on the beach!”
Sam looked around, then back at me. “Come on, BTB. We’re just going to have to walk back to our room like this.”
She set off, knees bent in a half-squat, bow-legged to keep her thighs as far from her crotch as possible, face contorted in a mix of horror and amusement. I followed in the same position, the two of us like forward-moving crabs, slowly making our way through the crowds, trying to keep our snickering under control.
Halfway there, out of the blue, Sam stopped, turned to me and slowly raised her eyebrows. She leant in, suddenly very serious. Looked me deep in the eyes and said,
“Ok. Emma Lovely would never do this.”
I want to yell out, “FINALLY!” — but I’m laughing so hard I can’t speak.
Thanks for reading! If you’re with me on the Certain People Just ARE Cool thing — or if you can top the sand-in-crotch classiness — lemme know in the comments below. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh so hard you can’t breathe and you want to share this story with them, you can do that using one of the round buttons below, or click HERE to share on Facebook
You rule!
xx (Yes Yes) Marsha
PS If you want even tips and advice on how to tell compelling stories, plus stories and secrets I won’t put on the internet AND my free guide for the magic bullet for how to tell any story powerfully, come over and join the Yes Yes Family by popping your details in below:
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