When I was 23, I got to experience what it’s like to be a pop star.

I spent a year as the Chair of the Student Radio Association, a sort of union for student radio stations in the UK. I know, I know – it’s hardly joining Spice Girls. Bear with me.

My taste of fame

After I got elected at the yearly AGM & conference, a load of us went for a drink. The only thing I’d done as Chair at that point was to stand on stage and give a three minute speech about why I thought I’d be good for the role. My sole competitor was not a terribly serious candidate, and I was voted in by 33 stations to three. 

I arrived at the pub a little after everyone else, and plonked myself at the end of a table that had four people sitting along each side. Then, something peculiar happened: 

Everyone stopped their conversations and turned to me. After some (on my part, confused) silence, I started nervously rambling – truly saying nothing of any worth. And the strangest part? They were enthralled. 

Everything I said, was fascinating to them. Every joke I made, they fell about laughing. It was wild. I kept wanting to stop, mid-sentence, and say, “Guys! I’m really not that funny or interesting! I actually make a lot of lame gags that fall flat, and have a tendency to put way too much detail into my stories. You can totally go back to your own conversations – it’s fine!”. They didn’t seem to notice.

Woah, I thought. So this is how J-Lo feels. No wonder celebrities are often considered arrogant – it would be hard not to be if this is how everyone reacts to you.

A less romantic result – and why I started Yes Yes Marsha

The other thing I got to experience as Chair was the sheer, white-knuckle terror of networking – as felt by almost all of my clients before our first session (and by a lot of the visitors to YesYesMarsha.com). 

As part of my tenure, I had to go to the The Radio Festival – a behemoth of an event, where 500 of the most influential people in the industry go to rub shoulders. 

I. Was. Petrified. I spent the entire three days on the verge of puking, cemented to the wall, hoping to heaven that no one would catch me out for the coward I was. 

Why did I feel like that? Because I was supposed to be networking. Networking. And not only for myself, but for the 2,000 people I was there representing. 

And the reason that made me so nauseous was because of what networking meant to me. I was convinced that I was expected to walk up to the head of the BBC, bellowing,

“GREG! Hi ! Listen – I’m amazing. Given the chance, the Student Radio Association and I will change the face of your corporation! Whaddaya say?”

Because I am a normal person, this made me quake with fear from my head, right to the fringe of my floor-length, hot pink, crocheted cardigan.

(It was the 90’s).

So I did nothing. I mumbled a few words to a mousy intern from a diminutive local station (who was as surprised and terrified to be there as I was), then slunk to bed early, cursing myself.

How I learned to deal with this – and use it to my advantage

The years went by and, through trial and error, I got to learn an essential fact – one that my entire business is based on:

Networking is not the scary, schmoozy thing I thought it was.

It’s just talking to nice people you like and get on with, then keeping in touch with them.

In the years after that Radio Festival, I went on to get some pretty exciting and sought-after jobs. All of them – ALL OF THEM – came through networking. Sure, I worked hard once I got the jobs. But I never had one job interview, or filled in a single application form. Every time, I was introduced to my employer by someone I already had a relationship with. 

And here’s the important part: NONE of those relationships came through doing “Hi, I’m amazing“-style networking. They were just people I wanted to be friends with.

Your turn

Next time you go to an event that might require some networking, I want you to bear this in mind.

Don’t look at the room, thinking, “Who do I need to impress? How best can I do this?”. 

Instead, think, “Who here looks nice? Who could I imagine being friends with?”

When you’re networking, the best approach is to think,

“Who here can I imagine being friends with?”

(Tweet that by clicking here!)

You will need to put yourself around the crowd a bit; you can’t usually tell who your future buddies are just from how they look (though that does happen). And you’ll need to chase them up with a ‘nice to meet you‘ email – ideally adding a little value to them.

But, I promise you: you don’t need to bellow anything to anyone, or talk about how amazing you are.

You are, however, welcome to wear a fringed, crocheted, floor-length, hot pink cardigan. Maybe it’s a look you can actually pull off.

Over To You

What’s been a good career lesson you’ve learned from your fickle youth? Let me know in the comments below!

Thanks,

You rule,

xx (Yes Yes) Marsha

PS If this is a story that sounds familiar, I have something just for you. Networking 101 is a service with proven results, that can completely change your approach to networking and give your career or business the boost you haven’t yet figured out how to score – but know you deserve. Hop over and find out more, by clicking here: www.yesyesmarsha.com/workwithme 

PPS this week, I told the Yes Yes Marsha Mailer Family the reason I chose to tell you this story today – and why you should ALWAYS be careful with technology.

Want to know my best-ever client secret – and get even more advice, tips, plus stories that I won’t put on the internet? Come and join the Yes Yes Family – it’s free! Just pop your details in below:

Photo credits: Ogiyoshisan via Compfight cc, and Olly Benson .

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