The Lie All Grown Ups Tell Ourselves

There’s a lie we all tell ourselves.

Everyone does it.

And, when you finally discover the truth, it’s a triple-whammy;

– you encounter shock and disappointment, on top of what is already an unpleasant experience.

Here’s a secret fact about me:

 I don’t have a driving license.

Wait! I’m not just showing off. Stay with me.

Getting in my own way

When I was in my mid-twenties, I took some lessons. I actually learned how to drive pretty well.
But I couldn’t even try and get a license until I’d taken the written theory test.

I bought all the books, but when I sat down to study them, a strange thing happened:

I couldn’t do it.

Not because I wasn’t capable, but because something deep inside of me resisted.

Some angry part of my brain was saying,

“Excuse me, Marsha. But YOU PROMISED ME that the MOMENT we graduated, we WOULDN’T have to do ANY MORE HOMEWORK”

 and refused to study.

 I decided to drop it. I still don’t have a license.

Other places homework caught up with me

That wasn’t the end.

As soon as I started trying to get a job as a radio host, old angry-brain came back.
Sat at my computer one morning, I stared at an empty screen, willing the words to come to me.

At midday, I looked over what I’d written.

“Dear Mr Ashton”, it said.

Below that, a world of blank space.

Great work, Marsha.
That’s really going to catch the eye of the man you hope will employ you.

This felt worse than geography coursework. At least with that I had text books to consult.

But when you’re trying to get in touch with someone you admire

• someone who can help further your career
• someone whom you just know you would be an asset to, if only you could find a way to articulate it

                              – there’s no text book.

 After another couple of hours, I had this:

“I am writing to you in the sincere hope that you might condescend to consider listening to my radio demo”

“Sincere”? “Condescend”??

I knew I was writing nonsense.

I knew it needed to be better.

But I also knew that Mr Ashton – Andy Ashton, then-Program Controller of Xfm, the radio station I longed with all my bones to work for – got hundreds, if not thousands of emails like this every day.

How on earth was mine going to stand out??

What actually happened

Here’s the kicker: it didn’t stand out.

I don’t know if I even sent it.

Certainly, even if I did, it had the same result as the dozens of other emails I’d sent – in desperation – out to other program controllers:

Nothing.

Silence.

Just whatever the same email was at the top of my inbox when I’d last refreshed it.

And the 100 times I’d refreshed it before.

As anyone who’s had dating adventures knows,

silence is WORSE than rejection

(Tweet that here!)

At least with rejection, you know what to do next. (ie move on and try and put it behind you)

With silence, it’s so ambiguous.

Did they even get the email? Did they get it and hate it?

Should I send it again? Should I add any information, or maybe subtract some?

Where’s my text book???

How I can help with all this

I can’t offer you a text book.

But what I can do, is give you some pointers on what to say when you’re trying to “cold” contact someone you feel warmly towards.

Over the next few of blog posts, you’ll learn some of the lessons and strategies I found through years of trial and error, and some great teachers.

Strategies that eventually DID catch the eye (and ear) of Andy Ashton, one my most helpful mentors and the best boss I’ve ever had, at a job I adored and was very successful in. 

If you can’t wait

– and/or you want a full tailored service, where I help you out with every aspect of  having the person you admire sit up and take notice of you –

then you can find out more about Grab Their Attention,

my intensive session to make this happen for you,

by clicking HERE.

Over To You

In the meantime, what do you do when you get “emailer’s block”?

Do you have any tricks for pushing through?

Let me know in the comments below, or by clicking HERE.

Thanks for reading.
If you know anyone who thinks they hate networking, and would benefit from some of the ideas in this blog, you can share it with them by clicking on one of the round buttons below, or hanging out over on the left.

You rule,

xx (Yes Yes) Marsha

PPS I really would love to show you how to get to know your heroes!

Click here to find out more about how I can help!

PPS In the mailer this week, I told the Yes Yes Marsha Mailer Family about the Hollywood A-lister I was hanging out with last week.

Want to know my best-ever client secret – and get even more advice, tips, plus stories that I won’t put on the internet? Come and join the Yes Yes Family – it’s free! Just pop your details in below:

Photo credits: soundlessfall, Pink Sherbet Photography, astanita, Fire At Will [Photography] all via Compfight cc

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