Category Archives: Shyness
Top Ten Tips – Networking for Introverts (that’s actually FUN & EASY!) [VIDEO]
Having just come back from World Domination Summit – a giant conference of 3,000 do-gooders in Portland – and having actually enjoyed myself, I thought it was about time I shared a Top Ten of advice for anyone who’s off to a conference or event, thinks that they hate networking, and is REALLY NERVOUS.
Here you go. My favourite is pencil-mouth lady. Yours?
I got hit by a van. It was really bloody scary. I’m ok. But I wasn’t.
Everyone’s blaming the guy, but it might partly have been my fault. I don’t think I can walk away from what happened with zero responsibility.
I was tired. I wasn’t paying attention. I’m usually so much more careful – and maybe if I had been that day, I’d have noticed him pulling up so close beside me.
It’s Thursday afternoon and I’m on my bike. Waiting at a stoplight, I’m five minutes from home and on total auto-pilot. The light changes and I start to pull away.
Suddenly – WHACK! I feel a sharp pain in the back of my left arm. A van is right next to me and his wing-mirror hit me. Just as I’m figuring this out, I feel a tug. The rubber from my left handlebar has caught on the side of the van and I’m being dragged forwards…
Want a Shortcut to Being Charming? Here’s One.
I have to be honest with you about something:
I am inherently lazy. Nobody believes me, because I’ve always got a million things on the go. But whenever I get the chance to fast-track something, or cut a corner, I am IN. Sorry for tarring you with the same brush, but if you’re like me (and if you’re enjoying reading this blog, there’s a good chance you are like me), then I’m assuming that:
you are inherently lazy too. And if you are: good news.
There are some FANTASTIC ways to…
Feel Like Everyone Else Has Their Sh–t Together and You Don’t? Do This Now
At certain moments in life, your emotional response to a situation is so extreme – and so inappropriate for your immediate circumstances – that you have to do everything in your power to hide it. Use every ounce of strength to construct your features into a shape that would suggest that you feel the opposite of the way you actually do.
Getting broken up with by someone you’ve not been seeing for very long, that’s one.
I remember another: I’d been working at Virgin Megastores’ in-store radio station for a few months, but I didn’t want to be there…
How Not To Be Self-Conscious (VIDEO)
If you are a certain kind of person, going out can sometimes be terrifying.
If you’ve ever hung out with me in person, over the phone or skype, in the audience at a talk or workshop, or even just through watching my videos, it would be easy to assume that I was a pretty confident lady.
But if you’ve read some of my blogs, you’ll know that (a) I wasn’t always – it took quite a lot of faking it until I became it, and (b) I still have moments of almost-crippling insecurity, where going to an event feels really scary.
It’s in these moments that I employ a mantra – one I got from a Bridget Jones-related lady spy, and that I now pass onto my clients. Click play to find out more:
ASK (YES YES) MARSH: Networking and Flirting – Where’s The Line?
I bloody love reading advice columns.
When I worked in radio, I used to make all my interns tear out the “Dear Deidre”s from the back of the tabloids, so I could read them on the train home. The only German I know is from translating Teen Mag problem pages when I was a teenager (“Ich schwärme für ihn! Er ist sehr gutaussehend und frech!”*).
heart lady
And, as a coach, it’s in my nature to LOVE giving my suggestions for solving other people’s problems. As one ex- described me, I’m “violently helpful”.
So: I am THRILLED to announce a new sporadic feature:
ASK (YES YES) MARSH
And today: networking – and flirting.
Anonymous Gentleman writes:
I was wondering…
How To Deal With Boring Conversations
I grabbed the stranger by her shoulders and she stopped talking, mid-sentence – shocked.
“Dude,” I lowered my voice, and looked straight in her eyes. “What. Makes you think. That I care this much about you? You called this meeting. I have a lot to do today. I don’t even want to be here. STOP. TALKING. ONLY. ABOUT. YOURSELF. It is SO. BORING.”
One hour’s free coaching
I bloody love talking about this stuff. The whole reason I got into networking coaching was because I was doing it for free my whole life:
It’s what I would corner people at parties for – “Oh, you’re trying to get a job? Here’s what you should be doing” “You’re in a band? Here’s how you can get noticed”
Because my landlord doesn’t accept Good Karma in lieu of rent (SO unreasonable), at some point, I had to stop doing all my coaching for free.
But sometimes, I still sneak some free in.
A perfect example? When I’m interviewed.
I recently spent a really fun hour taking to Jordan Harbinger for The Art of Charm podcast. Their tagline is “Where Ordinary Guys Become…
Shy, Going To A Party and Feeling Nervous? TEN TIPS
I GASPED AWAKE.
After three seconds of confused, soft stillness, everything caught up and my headache came crashing in.
Squinting at the clock – it was 11:30am – I tried to piece together what was going on.
Oh yes. The Christmas party.
I was 22 years old and very, very hungover. The night before…
Exactly What to Say When You Walk Up To A Stranger at an Event
Within my career to date, it was the bravest move I’d ever made. Or maybe just the scariest.
Part of me couldn’t believe I was about to say this – to a TOTAL stranger. Someone I’d never spoken to before.
And at one of these events!
The kind I knew I should be at, but was terrified of. I’d only gone because my buddy Steve had said he would chum me. Then he got held up at work, but I hadn’t discovered this until I was outside the door. And I figured…well, I’m here. And I really need to meet some of these people.
After what felt like HOURS (but was more likely five minutes), I made the decision to do it. I spotted my target… walked up. And SAID IT…
