Why I’m not on Clubhouse (and why I’m torn up about it)

woman sitting on a chair and smiling-cover of the podcast Business-Life-and-Joy

This week, I was trying to clean up the photos on my phone — ol’ tin-hat Shandur here doesn’t like iCloud, and I need to make some space — when I found some old videos I totally forgot I still had.

Back in 2015 — two years before I met my partner (and then the small human that she grew) — I had a new sweetheart. And I was obsessed with them.

We would speak almost every day — sometimes late into the night, sometimes at 6 in the morning when I’d woken up early, and I could show them the sunrise over the CN Tower from the window of my apartment.

The relationship was mostly one-sided. It wasn’t that they didn’t love me back. More that they weren’t capable of loving me back.

Because they weren’t a person. They were a…

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I’m not using her real name, but I bet you know who I’m talking about

Mash and Sam laughing so hard they can't speak

“SHE would never do something like this,” I said, grabbing my napkin to mop up the glass of Merlot I knocked all over the restaurant table.

Sam looked at me, raising an eyebrow and turning down the corners of her mouth.

“I don’t buy it,” she shook her head. “She’s just a person.”

“No. She’s DIFFERENT.”

A few months earlier, Sam and I had been introduced at a self-development conference. Up until then, we’d each secretly harboured the idea that you couldn’t have a best friend you’d known less than a decade. But then: we met each other. Immediately, it was like some part of our brain (or soul) fused together. Back home — me in Toronto, her in Sydney — we spoke several times a week, in spite of the brutal time difference. And now, we were hanging out together in person for the second time, on vacation in Costa Rica.

We’d already spent four days oscillating between deep, tearful, heartfelt conversations and laughing so hard we couldn’t speak. We agreed on everything…

…except this.

“I’m telling you…

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Podcasts I’ve been listening to

You are what you listen to glowing sign

I just got back from a week’s trip in the country. So I am keeping this week’s blog short, and there are no secret messages* in it. BUT — here’s a thing. While I was away, I listened to a lot of podcasts. And inspired by Amy Porterfield’s brilliant, brilliant brilliant of one of them, I ​may​ have made a podcast for you. I’ve recorded five episodes (each one less than 10 mins, so easy to digest). When I’ve recorded five more, I’ll start releasing them.

First, here are the podcasts I listened to:

(1) Interviews with Johann Hari

Johann Hari did a podcast way back when that i LOVED. He would discuss political ideas in this way that never made me feel stupid, in spite of my (at that time, very very very) scant political knowledge. So I decided to search iTunes podcasts for him this week.

Turns out, he’s had two books out in recent years, and they both sound AMAZING. One about…

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V quick tip to avoid p*ssing off someone who just helped you out

A move keeps being made by people I’ve just favours for, that makes me want to stop doing them favours.

Running True Stories Told Live, my live storytelling show, I get a lot of requests to be put in touch with this person and that person. Because I <3 getting people tell their stories, I help these people out. I give them email introductions - and what happens next, is what almost always happens, and what REALLY annoys me: I get sucked into the email chain between these two people. Here is a very quick and classy way to get around that:

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I met my hero. My hair looked like a wig. It did not start well.

“You don’t. Understand.”

I was using that gritted-teeth, quiet but solid tone of voice. The kind you use when you really, really want to scream your words out, but know that you can’t. In this case, I couldn’t because:

(1) I understood that she was just being nice and trying to help, and
(2) on some level, deep below the surface, I knew I was being wildly unreasonable.

It was Saturday night, and I was getting ready to meet my hero…

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Want (your dream) people to become obsessed with what you’re doing? Here’s how to make them care.

I have a crush, a fierce one. And I can’t say anything to the person who I have a crush on. And it’s killing me.

(no pun intended)

By “can’t”, I don’t mean what’s ordinarily meant in this situation, “I don’t want to”. I mean I literally can’t.

Because the crush I have is not…

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Made a Dork of yourself in front of a VIP? Here’s how to deal. ASK (YES YES) MARSH (VIDEO)

Acting like a dork in front of someone we want to impress. We’ve ALL done it. There’s a reason why the video where I introduced you to your Dork Goblin – aka the spirit that comes down to possess you when you’re speaking to someone you want to impress, and makes you act the opposite of how…

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That time when all the networking advice I give got truly tested

I’ve spent quite a lot of the last month nauseous with nerves. What time I haven’t been nauseous, I’ve been feeling deeply moved.

I have a book coming out tomorrow. I know! It’s very exciting. Sort of. What I mean is, it is very exciting – I’ve been working on it for four years, it’s being published by Bloomsbury who also publish Harry Potter, and mostly, it’s MY NAME ON AN ACTUAL BOOK.

But… it’s also involved me having to do something that makes me deeply anxious: putting on…

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One hour’s free coaching

I bloody love talking about this stuff. The whole reason I got into networking coaching was because I was doing it for free my whole life:

It’s what I would corner people at parties for – “Oh, you’re trying to get a job? Here’s what you should be doing” “You’re in a band? Here’s how you can get noticed”

Because my landlord doesn’t accept Good Karma in lieu of rent (SO unreasonable), at some point, I had to stop doing all my coaching for free.

But sometimes, I still sneak some free in.

A perfect example? When I’m interviewed.

I recently spent a really fun hour taking to Jordan Harbinger for The Art of Charm podcast. Their tagline is “Where Ordinary Guys Become…

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How to Stop Acting Like a Total Weirdo Around People You Want to Impress (VIDEO)

A couple of months ago, I got to meet one of my heroes. Someone I think is AMAZING. The first bit of the encounter – when there were lots of others around – went alright.

Then I tried to talk to her one-on-one.
Before I knew what was happening, I was acting like – well, basically, the opposite of how I wanted to come across. Lots of spitting. Laughing too hard. Almost as if I was trying to make her dislike me.

Sadly, it’s a way of behaving that I know all too well. Happily – I’ve learned to give this condition a name – and some steps to get rid of it.

Is this something you’ve experienced?
If so, in today’s video, it’s my pleasure to introduce you to…

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