Why You Should Ask Strangers Personal Questions
Something very weird happened on Tuesday night.
Or, if not weird, then… alchemical might be the word. I had actually fully intended to write a blog about something else – some straight up networking advice (like I gave you here and here). But I’m still reeling from that evening and feel like I have to tell you about it.
It started innocently enough…
Networking: When It’s OK to Lie
I know the ten commandments suggest not to, but sometimes, thou SHALT lie:
If you’re on a night out, your friend asks whether her hair looks weird – and it does, and there’s nothing she can do about it right now, tell her no. If your brother was right in the middle of an important interview and accidentally let out a massive (and noisy) fart, then he asks you – mortified – if you think the interviewers laughed at him after he left, say, “They probably don’t even remember”.
If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know that I’m usually all about not lying – not being a fake, schmoozy, gross caricature of everything people hate about networking.
But sometimes: you need to. Here are those times:
(1) When extracting yourself from…
ASK (YES YES) MARSH: Networking and Flirting – Where’s The Line?
I bloody love reading advice columns.
When I worked in radio, I used to make all my interns tear out the “Dear Deidre”s from the back of the tabloids, so I could read them on the train home. The only German I know is from translating Teen Mag problem pages when I was a teenager (“Ich schwärme für ihn! Er ist sehr gutaussehend und frech!”*).
heart lady
And, as a coach, it’s in my nature to LOVE giving my suggestions for solving other people’s problems. As one ex- described me, I’m “violently helpful”.
So: I am THRILLED to announce a new sporadic feature:
ASK (YES YES) MARSH
And today: networking – and flirting.
Anonymous Gentleman writes:
I was wondering…
What I Learned from being a Zombie Nun Designated Dancer at Queer Slow Dance
I bit my lip, and hit “reply” to the text message.
‘That sounds exciting and scary’, I wrote. ‘Can I think about it and let you know?’
My friend Erin had just asked whether I would join her to be a Designated Dancer at Queer Slow Dance.
Queer Slow Dance is a regular night in Toronto (and Montreal) that pretty much does what it says on the tin. And my job as a Designated Dancer would be to spend two hours asking strangers to slow dance with me, gently easing the wallflowers from their seats and helping them to feel included.
It sounded terrifying.
Partly because of the concept. Slow dancing isn’t really a thing we DO in the UK. My only experience was once, at my summer camp, when a Much Older Boy asked me if I’d slow dance with him. I remember finding it awkward and a bit too grown up to be comfortable.
But I was most scared of having to walk up to strangers and ask them to dance.
What if they say no?
What if EVERYONE says no?…
