When should you tell someone to give up on their dreams? (And more, in the Yes Yes Questions #9 Review!)

You know how they say There’s No Such Thing As A Free Lunch? The thing is, They also say Do What You Love And The Money Will Come, and so far, no one has offered to pay me a DIME for binge-watching This Is Us. So let’s start ignoring Them, and here’s your free lunch:

Once a month (or so), I invite you to join me (for free) to spend an hour asking me ANYTHING you want to ask. Advice about business, family, storytelling, romance, handling disappointment, networking, doing what you love and the money either coming or not coming. It’s all fair game.

It’s called Yes Yes Questions — and there’s another one happening NEXT WEDS September 4th @ 2pm ET (11am PT / 7am GMT). Want to be there? Pop your details in here*:
*you’ll also get FREE membership to the Yes Yes Family, meaning you get free, weekly coaching via email on how to Be Unforgettable and Tell Captivating Stories. You can unsubscribe a-n-y-t-i-m-e

And in the meantime, you can read a review of the last one or listen to it below. The questions asked in that episode:

1. How do I make my writing better when I’m stuck?
2. How do you sell sciencey people on stories? And what should you teach them?
3. Should you ever tell people that they should just give up on their dreams?
4. How do I get clients for my in-person business in a new city?
5. How do you tell sensitive stories that might turn people off?
6. How did you start and build your business and what would you advice would you suggest for someone starting a new venture?

Listen here:

Or read here:

1. How do I make my writing better when I’m stuck?

I write fiction, which is not something I’m comfortable with. I can stare at it forever, but I can’t tell how to make it better. So what do I do with it now?

(i) Listen to this two minutes of Ira Glass (aka host of This American Life aka the BEST PODCAST OF ALL TIME) talking about creativity

If you’re not somewhere you can watch/listen, the precis is:
When you start a creative pursuit you are already a big fan of the craft, so you’re really good at critiquing! However you are not starting as a pro, so you see/hear/notice how bad you are. Remember that being great takes practice. Cut yourself some slack!

(ii) You can’t edit alone. As my genius copywriter, Rachel from Bolt From The Blue says, “You can’t read the label from inside the jar.” You need to get additional eyes and ears to take a look. So get critiques and ask for constructive criticism

I asked for the question-askers blog, and here it is: www.39andcounting.com


2. How do you sell sciencey people on stories? And what should you teach them?

I’m a media coach who coaches authors. Some of my authors are very science minded. How do I get them to just tell a story? Both selling them on the idea and showing them how to do it.

(i) To sell them on stories, tell them about the brain science. Or point them towards this 2 min video where I explain it with triplet versions of myself and an alien me:

(ii) To show them how to do it: Explain that there is a list of rules to follow to tell any story. You can find them in a couple of places. If you’re more of a reader, go to this short blog series: yesyesmarsha.com/storytips
If you’re more of a listener, I made a sort of scrappy podcast/audio training that you can find here (each one is less than 10 mins long): yesyesmarsha.com/bwss

Cliff notes of those: When you’re telling a story, it’s most important to describe a scene, by answering two questions: “What did it look like?” and “How did it feel?”


3. Should you ever tell people that they should just give up on their dreams?

I work in Network Marketing and I’m incredibly successful on the business side of things.
I’m also in a leadership position, and I have people on my team who want that same level of success — but sometimes, even if they do all the things I tell them to, they don’t have this same level of success. The truth is, sometimes, I think they might not have what it takes. But I don’t know whether to say this or not!

(i) What do these people need? What are they missing? Is it that they’re not clear on what the problem they solve?

(ii) If it has to do with the person’s own body language, comfort in talking to others, etc. can you help them figure out how to work around that? How can you turn someone’s weaknesses into their superpower?

(iii) It’s ok to tell them that you’ve given them everything you can and can’t help them any longer. And to make that easier: before they start working with you, you can tell them what you can guarantee and what you can’t and they can decide whether or not to work with you.


4. How do I get clients for my in-person business in a new city?

I am a gynaecologist who has moved country to be closer to family. (Landed today!) I need to set up a private practice. Where do I start? How do I attract the potential customers? I have asked for a design for the company logo, for starters.

Setting up a medical practice is outside my wheelhouse, BUT here’s what I know about getting new clients for a business:

(i) “All things being equal, friends buy from friends. All things being unequal, friends buy from friends,” as my sales coach, Kendrick Shope always says. You’re much more likely to work with someone who has come through a recommendation than from a stranger — so think about how to build those relationships.

(ii) Reach out to everyone you know and see if anyone knows anyone in the medical industry in that area and ask for an intro. You’re looking not necc for other gynos, but for people adjacent — other kinds of medical and health professionals who might recommend a gyno.

(iii) Go to places where people in your industry hang out where you can meet them

(iv) If you don’t know anyone, just reach out to people in your industry and show you’ve done some research on them and make them feel like you’re not sending them the same identikit email to everyone.

(v) I have email templates for How to get a coffee or skype/phone meeting with someone
and
How to ask a favour from someone who can help you more than you can help them
Want me to email them to you? Pop your details in here*:

*you’ll also get FREE membership to the Yes Yes Family, meaning you get free, weekly coaching via email on how to Be Unforgettable and Tell Captivating Stories. You can unsubscribe literally whenever you like

 

5. How do you tell sensitive stories that might turn people off?

I’m catering to nurses who don’t want to provide patient care anymore. There are some preconceived notions about nurses being nurturing, but the industry is very challenging and there many nurses that are trying to look to opportunities outside patient care — not because they don’t care, but because they’re burnt out. How do I share my story without sounding cold-hearted?

(i) Think about the problem you solve. Think about who you are helping. There may be people that will give you flack for it, but if they do THIS IS THEIR STUFF. Either they are not your people, or they are your people and have shame around it. And you can help them get rid of the shame by just being honest.

(ii) Tell your story as an action scene (See Q 2 above). This can be a simple description of how you felt in that moment, so they feel seen right now.

(iii) Remember that people can hate as much as they want — it’s their right! Don’t focus on them. Don’t worry about the people that aren’t your people.

6. How did you start and build your business and what would you advice would you suggest for someone starting a new venture?

(i) Because I’ve been asked this a bunch, I lovingly direct you to Yes Yes Questions #7 Review questions 2 and 3, which you’ll find here:
www.yesyesmarsha.com/yyq7review

 

What do you think? Agree? Disagree? Have some other advice of your own? Let me know in the comments below! Thanks so much for reading. If you know someone who needs to hear the answer to one of these questions, you can share it with them using one of the round buttons below, or click HERE to share it on Facebook.

Don’t forget there’s another Yes Yes Questions happening Weds September 4th @ 2pm ET — check the PS for how to get details.

You rule!

xx (Yes Yes) Marsha

PS want to know about the next Yes Yes Questions, AND get my guide to the magic bullet for compelling storytelling? YOU’RE IN LUCK! I’ll also give you free membership to the Yes Yes Family, where you get weekly email coaching on storytelling. Just pop your details in below:

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