The Reason Why It Doesn’t Matter What You Look Like

  You totally know the kind of guy I’m talking about. Girls do this too, but my most recent experience of being on the receiving end of it was with a dude.   My Irish friend Jonathan is a singer. Tall, with masses of brown hair and a deep voice, he’s effortlessly charming and impossibly…

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The Best Question To Start A Conversation With
– And How To Avoid Small Talk.

  Have you ever had a period in your life where you’ve wished you lived in a sitcom? Not for everything. Just to imagine what would happen if, when asked a certain question, you actually told the truth. A rash decision Several years ago, I took the bold step of quitting a job with great prospects…

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The Exact Steps I Took To Stop Being Shy And Start Being Self-Confident

I stood in the corridor of the stranger’s house, reeling.

I’ve pulled it off, I thought.

I’ve actually pulled it off…

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How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say (Whilst Barely Saying Anything)

There’s a conversational magic trick that is amazing. Anyone can do it. In it, you say almost nothing. The other person then leaves the conversation feeling that you are completely fascinating.   Avoiding awkwardness In the last post, I told you how to take the pressure off yourself, when trying to come up with things…

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What Most People ACTUALLY Think Of Your Conversation Skills

When I tell people about the restricting experience that I had for a lot of my life, they often say exactly the same thing: “You! Shy?? No way! I just can’t see it.”

Even though their surprise is more statement of fact than compliment, I always get a little happy bristle. For so many years, I felt like I was behind a glass wall when I went out to places. My friends would all chat away to new people, but I stayed mute.

These were friends who knew that, when it was just us, no one could shut me up. So as well as feeling deep frustration, I got to feel some shame and humiliation.
*awesome*

The reason I never spoke to them wasn’t 80’s-inspired Stranger Danger. It was usually because…

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How To Get Anybody To Talk To You

“I find it frustrating because I know exactly how you feel”, I told her.
She shouted back,
“If you know exactly how I feel, then you should leave me alone!”,
She slammed shut her bedroom door.

My plan had gone horribly wrong

I was 19 years old and in my first year of university. Jenna was my flatmate.
In that warm way that sometimes happens, she and I had bonded within seconds of meeting.
I always like to think of that as your souls bumping.

On this particular night, we’d been out at the local student bar with my sparky friend Alice. I’d engineered it, wanting these two beloveds of mine to spend some time.

The evening was awful.

Whilst Alice chatted away, Jenna…

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The Weird Belief I Used To Have

Looking back on it, the guy in the bowler hat almost certainly fancied me. But at the time, I thought he was talking to me for a completely different reason.

I was 15 years old, in a warehouse in East London. Techno music and strobe lights filled the room. Two of my best friends were dancing nearby: hot pants, tight tops, arms trailing through the air in front of them. I danced, facing the wall, long sleeves pulled over my hands, shuffling to the music, trying hard not to be seen.

The guy in the bowler hat (it *was* the ’90s) came up to me and started asking me questions about myself. I don’t remember what they were. All that I remember is…

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My Terrible Admission (and Why It Might Not Be True)

I am a little nervous to tell you this. Depending on where you stand, you’ll either: narrow your eyes, smile, and nod in agreement OR narrow your eyes, scowl and exhale in disgust. My big confession All of my life, I have never been a dog person. I’ve never understood why people like dogs.  …

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Why I Hate “Networking”. (But Don’t Hate networking)

Everybody thinks they know what networking is. Almost all of those people are wrong.   It’s one of the reasons I have a HUGE problem with the word. I have to use it a lot – given that my title is Networking Mentor – but I try and replace it with other words and phrases…

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Why The Girl Guides and Boy Scouts Were Right, Part 2

When I tell people what I do, one of the first things they often say is, “I hate going to events on my own! I’m always too scared to go up and talk to people I don’t know!”. In last week’s blog, I talked about preparation, and how it can help you with this. Today,…

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