If you feel like everyone else is doing their lives just a little bit better than you are, you may need this

It’s mid-April. Over a quarter of the year in. What goals did you have? Anywhere close? So much time has passed and you haven’t done nearly enough towards them, have you? Did you even get around to making any goals? I didn’t. I printed out my YearCompass, over several days in January and Feb I…

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Need to convince someone of something? Here’s how to READ THEIR MIND (by Chris from TellPeople)

This is him, on the right. He could convince Patrick Stewart to buy hair care products

Ever felt like you’re explaining something that – to you – seems so obvious, but the person you need to convince just isn’t getting it?

Recently, I was asked to run a workshop on buyer empathy (aka how to understand what your potential client wants), so I turned to get some help from my (very, very smart)(he’s been a lawyer representing Wall Street companies and indigenous rights) friend Chris from TellPeople.

Then, I asked him to share some of his smarts with you! Here’s what he has to say about how to READ MINDS (or at least, have a good guess at what’s inside them):

Make sense of your audience

When you’re trying to convince someone of something – whether it’s a potential client to hire you, or a family member to please stop doing that annoying thing they keep doing – do you ever wonder what’s going through their mind while they read your writing or listen to you talk?

What about when you’re talking to a group of people – how do you keep track of what all those people are thinking?

The truth is: you can’t know what anyone else is thinking about what you’re saying.

But – while you can’t read peoples’ minds, there is one thing you know for sure about every person you talk to. Actually, it’s the only thing you know for sure.

Can you guess?

Other…

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How to build a mailing list; how to approach guys in bars; how to banish your ‘you suck’ voices – Yes Yes Questions 3 review!

It was a nice mix of shy and very brave in our third Yes Yes Questions – my monthly Live Advice Column. People mostly asked their questions on the chat (with me reading them out), but they asked some goooood ones.

Before I present the questions, I’m doing it again, Weds April 25th @ 2pm ET. Want to get a reminder – plus all the secret links and resources I promised after this call?

Here is a list of most of the questions, with a short form of the answer I gave on the recording.

Let’s mix up the order, and start with the juiciest:

How would a couple of women approach dudes in a bar in a coldish city (like Toronto) without seeming too desperate, too intimidating, or too contrived? She’s admittedly not that open with strangers, but is hoping to change that. I’m good with strangers, but the approach is always so difficult!

Short form of answer: The trick here is to cultivate a situation where it’s less ‘hi, are we allowed to hang with you?’ and more ‘we are having fun and making mischief. You can join us if you like (and you’ll clearly be missing out if you don’t).’

And don’t just make this pretend. If you can get to the point where the two of you are having so much fun that, honestly, if you aren’t joined by whichever dudes have caught you’re eye, you still have a blast, then it’s win-win. Plus we all know that the ‘I don’t need you over here to have fun’ attitude is always very appealing.

Then I gave a PS on dating wisdom from my smart friend Paul…

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How to be charming and the dark side of being charming (Yes Yes Questions #2 review!)

Two weeks ago – in the midst of moving apartment – I ran another of my live advice columns, which we’re calling YES YES QUESTIONS. For the first one, we’d had about 30 people on the call. This time, it was four – which, honest to goodness, I liked just as much, because it felt more like INTIMATE PARTY (that you can now eavesdrop on!) and we kicked it off with a very personal, really interesting question.

Below, I’ve listed the questions asked, and written a short form version of the answer I gave.

First though – I’m doing it again! Weds April 25th @ 2pm ET. Want to come along?

Here are the questions people asked and short form answers: 

(1) Danielle LaPorte says, ‘Heart open; big effing fence.’ But I think my fences are too big. People tell me I’m impossible to get to know and come across as being aloof, especially in short-term interactions. Any advice? 

(Short Form Of Answer: Question where the aloofness comes from. Is it a defense mechanism, ‘If I hate you first, then it doesn’t matter if you judge me, because I already hate you’? That’s ok, just acknowledge. More on that HERE: yesyesmarsha.com/newpeople and here: yesyesmarsha.com/badmorning

Also, FAKE YOUR OWN SELF-CONFIDENCE in these situations. It will make you confident. It’s served me well for years.

Also, start with one small talk question before you get more interesting.

Also, being charming has a dark side, in the recording, I let you in on what that is.)

(2) If I don’t have a Big Brand Story, do I even need to use storytelling?

(SFOA: YES. And also, while a Big Brand Story might get you press, it might get you podcast interviews – it’s not what gets you clients. What gets you clients, is a small, small story that people can relate to. I give examples in the recording.)

(3) For as long as I can remember, I knew…

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The simple trick that saves you hours of time and gives you 10X the impact in your business, career or passion

If you have a business, a career, a passion that you want to turn into a business or career, then there’s one super-simple thing you’re likely forgetting to do, that means you’re wasting your time and effort.

It’s something that needs to happen before you do ANYTHING. For example, you need to do it before you:

Write a blog post (I did it before I wrote this one!!)
Write a bio
Go to a Networking [ANGELA yesyesmarsha.com/networkingcoaching Here’s where I teach you how to be AMAZING at this, one-on-one] event
Write literally anything on your website
Interview someone
Be interviewed by someone
TELL A STORY
Name your Instagram account
Do a talk
Decide to start a podcast
Write a newsletter
Post on your Facebook page
Do a Facebook live
Make literally any decision about your business

I see people ALL THE TIME not doing this, which means the thing they did – that blog post, that talk, that About page on their site – was a huge waste o time.

Here’s the thing you need to do first

Ask yourself, “What…

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How to say no, How to stay focused, How to love somewhere you hate living – Yes Yes Questions #1 REVIEW!

GUESS WHAT???!?!??!?!?! You know that thing I did? Where I had a secret wish that seemed silly, had little to do with my job and is only for already super-famous people (or paid journalists)… but I thought I’d try it out anyway? IT WORKED!! If you missed the whole story, the Cliff notes are: –…

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I had a weird idea & now you get free one-on-one coaching and/or life advice from me

Yes Yes Ques(tions)

I used to feel bad about this. Like, kind of guilty. Because of my work, my interests, and the kinds of conferences I go to, I’m in a lot of spaces where people ask, “What’s the burning thing you’ve always wanted to do, but never been brave enough to?” And I always used to worry…

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If you feel like you want to disappear, this is for you.

There is a beauty in your presence

When I first read it, I didn’t even cry. I just pursed my lips and sharply breathed in. Then I took the tiny piece of paper that was attached to the tea bag string – and slid it into my pocket.   I always used to be angry at people who’d committed suicide. Furious, actually.…

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That Time I Cried On Stage (and how I dealt).

crying on stage

The first few times I practised the story, I totally fell apart. Alone in my apartment, I couldn’t speak for sobbing. A few months ago, I took a course with my storytelling teacher, Sage Tyrtle. Our final class was a live show, where we would each tell the story we’d been working on. Except… I…

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This is usually my favourite thing to do, but one woman RUINED IT.

empty plane

“Cabin crew seats for take-off, please,” said the tinny voice overhead.

I looked around, wide-eyed. I made my hand into a fist, then pumped it down.

“Yesssssssss,” I hissed, half-under my breath. This was a SCORE.

I leaned over to the other seats in my row – both empty – and grabbed their plastic-wrapped blankets. I tore them open, then lay them on top of the one that was already on my knees.

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