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Shy, Going To A Christmas Party and Feeling Nervous? TEN TIPS

Posted by on Dec 17, 2014 in Confidence, Conversation topics, Follow-up, Networking, Questions, Shyness | 3 comments

Shy, Going To A Christmas Party and Feeling Nervous? TEN TIPS

After three seconds of confused, soft stillness, everything caught up and my headache came crashing in.

Squinting at the clock – it was 11:30am – I tried to piece together what was going on.

Oh yes. The Christmas party.

I was 22 years old and very, very hungover. The night before…

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Why No One’s Paying Attention To You (and Why That’s a GOOD Thing)

Posted by on Dec 3, 2014 in General | 4 comments

Why No One’s Paying Attention To You (and Why That’s a GOOD Thing)

“We have to take our shoes off”

“Won’t we slip over?”

“It looks like you just have to. Oh, and you pay on the way out. I guess it’s so that people can turn up late”

It was Monday night, I was stone cold sober, and about to dance for a solid hour in a room full of people.

In the pitch black…

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What I Learned from being a Zombie Nun Designated Dancer at Queer Slow Dance

Posted by on Nov 5, 2014 in General | 6 comments

What I Learned from being a Zombie Nun Designated Dancer at Queer Slow Dance

I bit my lip, and hit “reply” to the text message.

‘That sounds exciting and scary’, I wrote. ‘Can I think about it and let you know?’

My friend Erin had just asked whether I would join her to be a Designated Dancer at Queer Slow Dance.

Queer Slow Dance is a regular night in Toronto (and Montreal) that pretty much does what it says on the tin. And my job as a Designated Dancer would be to spend two hours asking strangers to slow dance with me, gently easing the wallflowers from their seats and helping them to feel included.

It sounded terrifying.

Partly because of the concept. Slow dancing isn’t really a thing we DO in the UK. My only experience was once, at my summer camp, when a Much Older Boy asked me if I’d slow dance with him. I remember finding it awkward and a bit too grown up to be comfortable.
But I was most scared of having to walk up to strangers and ask them to dance.

What if they say no?

What if EVERYONE says no?…

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Exactly What to Say When You Walk Up To A Stranger at an Event

Posted by on Sep 23, 2014 in Conferences, Confidence, Contact, Conversation topics, Definitions of "Networking", Eye Contact, Networking, Preparation, Shyness | 4 comments

Exactly What to Say When You Walk Up To A Stranger at an Event

Within my career to date, it was the bravest move I’d ever made. Or maybe just the scariest.
Part of me couldn’t believe I was about to say this – to a TOTAL stranger. Someone I’d never spoken to before.

And at one of these events!
The kind I knew I should be at, but was terrified of. I’d only gone because my buddy Steve had said he would chum me. Then he got held up at work, but I hadn’t discovered this until I was outside the door. And I figured…well, I’m here. And I really need to meet some of these people.

After what felt like HOURS (but was more likely five minutes), I made the decision to do it. I spotted my target… walked up. And SAID IT…

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When it’s OK to Walk Up To A Stranger…And When It Isn’t

Posted by on Aug 13, 2014 in Conferences, Confidence, Eye Contact, Networking, Shyness | 6 comments

When it’s OK to Walk Up To A Stranger…And When It Isn’t

I’m pretty sure it’s because of six year old girls that we all fear this.

You know the deal: you’re in the sunny schoolyard. You skip up to your two friends, excited to tell them the FUNNIEST thing that Stephen Henderson just did by the swings – when they turn to you, one of them screwing up her mouth, then saying,

“Sorry. Private con-ver-saaaation”.

Crushed, you slink away, feeling the hot burn of humiliation in your chest.

I actually don’t remember a specific incident where this happened, but the fact that imagining this scenario just now has given me such a visceral, physical shame reaction, tells me that it definitely did.

When you’re in a crowd – even if it’s a networking event or a conference, where protocol says it’s totally fine to walk up to strangers and introduce yourself – knowing who it is and isn’t ok to approach can take you right back to that hot summer afternoon.

What if you walk up and start talking – and they give you…

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If You Hate Going To Networking Events, Here’s How Not To

Posted by on Aug 1, 2014 in Conferences, Confidence, Conversation topics, Definitions of "Networking", Networking, Shyness | 6 comments

If You Hate Going To Networking Events, Here’s How Not To

It’s kind of a stupid thing for me to say. It might sound like I’m trying to put myself out a job. But it’s just true:

I hate going to networking events.

There.

Sometimes, they’re unavoidable for me. Maybe it’s been organised by a friend; perhaps a business buddy wants to meet me at one. Sometimes I can roll with it and try and have fun – but often, I’m totally not in the mood and can think of twelve other places I’d rather be.

If this sounds like you, here’s a solution:…

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A Behind-The-Scenes Tour of my Brain Going to a Conference

Posted by on Jul 10, 2014 in Conferences, Confidence, Conversation topics, Definitions of "Networking", Networking, Preparation, Shyness | 9 comments

A Behind-The-Scenes Tour of my Brain Going to a Conference

When I tell people what I do, often they’ll say, “Oh I hate going to networking events!”

Here’s the thing: so do I. They can feel like everyone’s trying to sell you their thing, plus they tend to have snacks at a time meant for dinner, so my hunger gets confused.

But a conference? I bloody love a conference. Have done since I started going to student radio conferences in the 90s, and now love going to ones where I meet other people like me, who are trying to use their powers for good. I love the learning. I *LOVE the meeting people. I love that sometimes, I get to show off a bit.

But, in spite of of all that, I kind of emotionally go through the ringer before each one.

This weekend, I’m at World Domination Summit – which, while it sounds like a Lex Luthor/Doctor Evil meetup, it’s actually talks, meetings and mini-events for 3000 entrepreneurs, who are all trying to make the world a better place.

So, in celebration, here’s a behind-the-scenes peek at my brain, in the run-up to going to, and at the start of, a conference…

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PART TWO: The Simple Two-Minute Trick That’s A GAME-CHANGER for your Business Or Career [includes templates]

Posted by on Jun 20, 2014 in Conferences, Confidence, Contact, Definitions of "Networking", Dogs, Emails, Follow-up, Networking | 4 comments

PART TWO: The Simple Two-Minute Trick That’s A GAME-CHANGER for your Business Or Career [includes templates]

Now that I’ve told you why always sending a “nice to meet you” email is the KEY to easy, fun and effective networking, let me show you what one actually looks like.

Let’s go back to the example from the previous explanation blog – you meet Janet at a conference in Sudbury and learn that she works for Google and has a new pug dog. Let’s say you discuss her dog, and the fish sandwiches.

I’ll write out how the email could look, then break it down for you. At the bottom, I’ll put a template that you can copy, paste and then fill in the blanks.

Subject: Sudbury conference / Obama Pug…

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The Simple Two-Minute Trick That’s A GAME-CHANGER for your Business Or Career: Part ONE

Posted by on Jun 13, 2014 in Conferences, Contact, Definitions of "Networking", Emails, Follow-up, Networking | 7 comments

The Simple Two-Minute Trick That’s A GAME-CHANGER for your Business Or Career: Part ONE

Have you ever said, “I hate networking”?
Chances are, you have – if not out loud, then quietly to yourself through gritted teeth, as you walk into a work event.

Here’s the thing: most of what you hate about networking? Isn’t actually networking. It’s schmoozing and bragging – and it very rarely works.

REAL networking happens gently over time, and most over email.
That sounds a little less scary, right?

A fundamental rule of networking that’s effective (and actually fun) is that it’s a long term relationship – not a one night stand.

So while that first in-the-flesh meeting is important when it comes to making industry friends – just like a first date is important when it comes to having a romance – it’s what happens afterwards that makes the BIG difference to your network.
And it’s your network that’ll make the BIG difference to your business or career – and to whether you are scrabbling to find clients or your dream clients are scrabbling to work with you.

The simple two-minute trick that will build your network and make you stand out: …

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How to Stop Acting Like a Total Weirdo Around People You Want to Impress (VIDEO)

Posted by on May 8, 2014 in Confidence, Eye Contact, Famous People, Focus and attention, Funny, Networking, Shyness | 55 comments

How to Stop Acting Like a Total Weirdo Around People You Want to Impress (VIDEO)

A couple of months ago, I got to meet one of my heroes. Someone I think is AMAZING. The first bit of the encounter – when there were lots of others around – went alright.

Then I tried to talk to her one-on-one.
Before I knew what was happening, I was acting like – well, basically, the opposite of how I wanted to come across. Lots of spitting. Laughing too hard. Almost as if I was trying to make her dislike me.

Sadly, it’s a way of behaving that I know all too well. Happily – I’ve learned to give this condition a name – and some steps to get rid of it.

Is this something you’ve experienced?
If so, in today’s video, it’s my pleasure to introduce you to…

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