I spent years working in the (very man-ful) music and radio industries, so I totally get where this lady is coming from. But when people are well-meaning and just trying to be nice, how do you tell them to get the hell off you – without being aggressive or creating a scene?
This is what we tackle in today’s ASK (YES YES) MARSH. Click “Read more” to see my advice…read more
When I give talks (which you can learn more about HERE), this is the photo I use when talking about the question that can strike fear into the hearts of the bravest person:
You know how it is – you’re at a party, awkwardly asking a stranger how they know the host, when all of a sudden, they look up at you and say Those Words…read more
If you are a certain kind of person, going out can sometimes be terrifying.
If you’ve ever hung out with me in person, over the phone or skype, in the audience at a talk or workshop, or even just through watching my videos, it would be easy to assume that I was a pretty confident lady.
But if you’ve read some of my blogs, you’ll know that (a) I wasn’t always – it took quite a lot of faking it until I became it, and (b) I still have moments of almost-crippling insecurity, where going to an event feels really scary.
It’s in these moments that I employ a mantra – one I got from a Bridget Jones-related lady spy, and that I now pass onto my clients. Click play to find out more:read more
Something very weird happened on Tuesday night.
Or, if not weird, then… alchemical might be the word. I had actually fully intended to write a blog about something else – some straight up networking advice (like I gave you here and here). But I’m still reeling from that evening and feel like I have to tell you about it.
It started innocently enough…read more
I know the ten commandments suggest not to, but sometimes, thou SHALT lie:
If you’re on a night out, your friend asks whether her hair looks weird – and it does, and there’s nothing she can do about it right now, tell her no. If your brother was right in the middle of an important interview and accidentally let out a massive (and noisy) fart, then he asks you – mortified – if you think the interviewers laughed at him after he left, say, “They probably don’t even remember”.
If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know that I’m usually all about not lying – not being a fake, schmoozy, gross caricature of everything people hate about networking.
But sometimes: you need to. Here are those times:
(1) When extracting yourself from…read more
I bloody love reading advice columns.
When I worked in radio, I used to make all my interns tear out the “Dear Deidre”s from the back of the tabloids, so I could read them on the train home. The only German I know is from translating Teen Mag problem pages when I was a teenager (“Ich schwärme für ihn! Er ist sehr gutaussehend und frech!”*).
And, as a coach, it’s in my nature to LOVE giving my suggestions for solving other people’s problems. As one ex- described me, I’m “violently helpful”.
So: I am THRILLED to announce a new sporadic feature:
ASK (YES YES) MARSH
And today: networking – and flirting.
Anonymous Gentleman writes:
I was wondering…read more
I grabbed the stranger by her shoulders and she stopped talking, mid-sentence – shocked.
“Dude,” I lowered my voice, and looked straight in her eyes. “What. Makes you think. That I care this much about you? You called this meeting. I have a lot to do today. I don’t even want to be here. STOP. TALKING. ONLY. ABOUT. YOURSELF. It is SO. BORING.”read more
This was one of the most frightening moments of my life.
I’d like to say it was formative, but I’m not sure how much I learned from it, except for “Take Your Friends Seriously When They Warn You Of Danger”.
So many blogs on YesYesMarsha.com are messages wrapped in stories – the one with the guy who seduced every lady he looked at; the one where I taught myself to stop being shy and became confident; the one where I was a Zombie Nun Queer Slow Dancer.
And so much of networking is about telling a story – the story of What Do You Do; the stories you tell to Industry Friends that bond you together; the stories you hear when you’re asking the right questions.
I thought it was about time I just let you hear a straight up story for the sake of a story. No message, no lesson – just a gripping (true!) yarn, about the time I had to move out of my apartment so that I didn’t get killed…read more
I bloody love talking about this stuff. The whole reason I got into networking coaching was because I was doing it for free my whole life:
It’s what I would corner people at parties for – “Oh, you’re trying to get a job? Here’s what you should be doing” “You’re in a band? Here’s how you can get noticed”
Because my landlord doesn’t accept Good Karma in lieu of rent (SO unreasonable), at some point, I had to stop doing all my coaching for free.
But sometimes, I still sneak some free in.
A perfect example? When I’m interviewed.
I recently spent a really fun hour taking to Jordan Harbinger for The Art of Charm podcast. Their tagline is “Where Ordinary Guys Become…read more
I GASPED AWAKE.
After three seconds of confused, soft stillness, everything caught up and my headache came crashing in.
Squinting at the clock – it was 11:30am – I tried to piece together what was going on.
Oh yes. The Christmas party.
I was 22 years old and very, very hungover. The night before…read more