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ASK (YES YES) MARSH: How do I stop my male colleagues from hugging me all time? (VIDEO)

Posted by on Mar 25, 2015 in Advice, Confidence, Contact, Definitions of "Networking", Networking | 16 comments

ASK (YES YES) MARSH: How do I stop my male colleagues from hugging me all time? (VIDEO)

I spent years working in the (very man-ful) music and radio industries, so I totally get where this lady is coming from. But when people are well-meaning and just trying to be nice, how do you tell them to get the hell off you – without being aggressive or creating a scene?

This is what we tackle in today’s ASK (YES YES) MARSH. Click “Read more” to see my advice…

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FREE CLASS – How to answer, “What Do You Do?”

Posted by on Mar 13, 2015 in General | 4 comments

FREE CLASS – How to answer, “What Do You Do?”

When I give talks (which you can learn more about HERE), this is the photo I use when talking about the question that can strike fear into the hearts of the bravest person:

You know how it is – you’re at a party, awkwardly asking a stranger how they know the host, when all of a sudden, they look up at you and say Those Words…

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How Not To Be Self-Conscious (VIDEO)

Posted by on Mar 3, 2015 in Advice, Conferences, Confidence, Focus and attention, Networking, Shyness, Video | 12 comments

How Not To Be Self-Conscious (VIDEO)

If you are a certain kind of person, going out can sometimes be terrifying.

If you’ve ever hung out with me in person, over the phone or skype, in the audience at a talk or workshop, or even just through watching my videos, it would be easy to assume that I was a pretty confident lady.

But if you’ve read some of my blogs, you’ll know that (a) I wasn’t always – it took quite a lot of faking it until I became it, and (b) I still have moments of almost-crippling insecurity, where going to an event feels really scary.

It’s in these moments that I employ a mantra – one I got from a Bridget Jones-related lady spy, and that I now pass onto my clients. Click play to find out more:

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Why You Should Ask Strangers Personal Questions

Posted by on Feb 27, 2015 in Advice, Contact, Definitions of "Networking", Eye Contact, Focus and attention, Networking, Questions, Storytelling | 6 comments

Why You Should Ask Strangers Personal Questions

Something very weird happened on Tuesday night.

Or, if not weird, then… alchemical might be the word. I had actually fully intended to write a blog about something else – some straight up networking advice (like I gave you here and here). But I’m still reeling from that evening and feel like I have to tell you about it.

It started innocently enough…

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Networking: When It’s OK to Lie

Posted by on Feb 18, 2015 in Advice, Conferences, Confidence, Contact, Definitions of "Networking", Emails, Eye Contact, Networking, Preparation, Questions | 4 comments

Networking: When It’s OK to Lie

I know the ten commandments suggest not to, but sometimes, thou SHALT lie:

If you’re on a night out, your friend asks whether her hair looks weird – and it does, and there’s nothing she can do about it right now, tell her no. If your brother was right in the middle of an important interview and accidentally let out a massive (and noisy) fart, then he asks you – mortified – if you think the interviewers laughed at him after he left, say, “They probably don’t even remember”.

If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know that I’m usually all about not lying – not being a fake, schmoozy, gross caricature of everything people hate about networking.

But sometimes: you need to. Here are those times:

(1) When extracting yourself from…

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ASK (YES YES) MARSH: Networking and Flirting – Where’s The Line?

Posted by on Feb 11, 2015 in Advice, Confidence, Definitions of "Networking", Eye Contact, Focus and attention, Networking, Shyness | 2 comments

ASK (YES YES) MARSH: Networking and Flirting – Where’s The Line?

I bloody love reading advice columns.

When I worked in radio, I used to make all my interns tear out the “Dear Deidre”s from the back of the tabloids, so I could read them on the train home. The only German I know is from translating Teen Mag problem pages when I was a teenager (“Ich schwärme für ihn! Er ist sehr gutaussehend und frech!”*).

heart lady

And, as a coach, it’s in my nature to LOVE giving my suggestions for solving other people’s problems. As one ex- described me, I’m “violently helpful”.

So: I am THRILLED to announce a new sporadic feature:

ASK (YES YES) MARSH

And today: networking – and flirting.

Anonymous Gentleman writes:

I was wondering…

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How To Deal With Boring Conversations

Posted by on Jan 28, 2015 in Confidence, Eye Contact, Focus and attention, Networking, Questions, Shyness | 20 comments

How To Deal With Boring Conversations

I grabbed the stranger by her shoulders and she stopped talking, mid-sentence – shocked.

“Dude,” I lowered my voice, and looked straight in her eyes. “What. Makes you think. That I care this much about you? You called this meeting. I have a lot to do today. I don’t even want to be here. STOP. TALKING. ONLY. ABOUT. YOURSELF. It is SO. BORING.”

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The Terrifying Reason I Had To Leave My Apartment

Posted by on Jan 13, 2015 in Confidence, Funny, Storytelling | 15 comments

The Terrifying Reason I Had To Leave My Apartment

This was one of the most frightening moments of my life.

I’d like to say it was formative, but I’m not sure how much I learned from it, except for “Take Your Friends Seriously When They Warn You Of Danger”.

So many blogs on YesYesMarsha.com are messages wrapped in stories – the one with the guy who seduced every lady he looked at; the one where I taught myself to stop being shy and became confident; the one where I was a Zombie Nun Queer Slow Dancer.

And so much of networking is about telling a story – the story of What Do You Do; the stories you tell to Industry Friends that bond you together; the stories you hear when you’re asking the right questions.

I thought it was about time I just let you hear a straight up story for the sake of a story. No message, no lesson – just a gripping (true!) yarn, about the time I had to move out of my apartment so that I didn’t get killed…

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One hour’s free coaching

Posted by on Jan 7, 2015 in Conferences, Confidence, Contact, Conversation topics, Definitions of "Networking", Emails, Eye Contact, Famous People, Focus and attention, Follow-up, Funny, Networking, Preparation, Questions, Shyness | 7 comments

One hour’s free coaching

I bloody love talking about this stuff. The whole reason I got into networking coaching was because I was doing it for free my whole life:

It’s what I would corner people at parties for – “Oh, you’re trying to get a job? Here’s what you should be doing” “You’re in a band? Here’s how you can get noticed”

Because my landlord doesn’t accept Good Karma in lieu of rent (SO unreasonable), at some point, I had to stop doing all my coaching for free.

But sometimes, I still sneak some free in.

A perfect example? When I’m interviewed.

I recently spent a really fun hour taking to Jordan Harbinger for The Art of Charm podcast. Their tagline is “Where Ordinary Guys Become…

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Shy, Going To A Christmas Party and Feeling Nervous? TEN TIPS

Posted by on Dec 17, 2014 in Confidence, Conversation topics, Follow-up, Networking, Questions, Shyness | 6 comments

Shy, Going To A Christmas Party and Feeling Nervous? TEN TIPS

I GASPED AWAKE.

After three seconds of confused, soft stillness, everything caught up and my headache came crashing in.

Squinting at the clock – it was 11:30am – I tried to piece together what was going on.

Oh yes. The Christmas party.

I was 22 years old and very, very hungover. The night before…

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